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Just when you think the debt crisis and stupid national associations and horrific terrorist attacks can ruin the sport you love, a game, a performance, a single act can part the gray clouds hovering over your little plot of land. This game had every season to suck – Madrid had lost at Riazor since before you can remember and it opened with a Granero goal. Yawn. Continue reading “Madrid v. Deportivo – Click Your Heels &…” »
People always stop me on the street and ask – why haven’t you written anything clever about Diego Maradona in so long? Before I can respond, one of my guardaespaldas, normally Brunito, a 6’5 robust man of Senegalese descent, throws them into a dumpster.
But the other day, while laughing at this poor man in a dumpster, I thought to myself – wow, it has been awhile since I wrote something about the pibe of pibes. I also have not stolen content for over a week, an eternity for me. So here it comes, my adoring public… Continue reading “It's time to kidnap the Dieguito Diez” »
…Have in common? Go to FistedAway to immediately find out. A hint – Fabio Capello may have played a cruel practical joke on Michael Owen. Or maybe I just made it up. Either way, read it.
Well, the good news is the bad news is the good news. On the plus side, I no longer have to watch my back. The soccer ninja is dead. On the negative side, Junito cannot seek out his counsel in person. And on the more negative side, the soccer ninja extracted one final act of revenge against me.
No, my friends, murder is not the worst of fates – murder is the mere acceleration of timeframe, the fastforwarding of an alarm clock. And for all we know, God may have a far more cruel fate just around the corner for our enemies. No, The soccer ninja had the last laugh in a typically devlish and carefully planned matter: he appointed me the executor of his estate. Continue reading “Junito: The Soccer Ninja & A Painful Execution” »
Landon Donovan scored his first goal for Everton in the Premier league. He was assisted by Tim Cahill, an Australian. Both men have returned to the land that colonized their land of birth. What does this mean in the post-colonial struggle to reestablish notions of the self and identity that do not rely on the colonizer’s assumptions? Okay, take a moment and skim over “Gender Trouble” by Judy Butler. Now, we begin. Continue reading “Donovan & Cahill – SHAKE THE SHACKLES” »
Sometimes we advance the flow of the human species with words. Other times, though, we must use pistol-fitted words. My ire? Ridge Mahoney’s flippant appraisal of the new KC Wizards stadium. Sunset, near the old saloon, ten paces to the left, no witnesses.
Let’s begin. Continue reading “Mr. Mahoney – I Challenge You to a Duel” »
We have touched on stadium naming rights, but now it appears that West Ham United, considering a move from Upton Park to Olympic accommodations, is considering changing the club name to reflect the posh new digs. The name? “West Ham Olympic.” Let’s suspend disbelief – let’s not immediately dismiss out of hand the preposterous notion of naming a club after a stadium that will in all likelihood change corporate names every five years and be obsolete after a decade.
Let’s indulge West Ham and brainstorm a few creative monikers based on Olympic mascots past. Here we go… Continue reading “West Ham United, West Ham Divided” »
So, many have heard the news about Liverpool fans getting arrested for “racism” after complaining about “Yank” owners. While the Deficit Hawks (not GOP affiliates) in Manchester continue to protest against the Glazers, they at least have focused squarely on the family in question. At least as of late.
Meanwhile, in Spain, an Argentine consortium has purchased Xerez. And some commentators throw their arms up in disgust.
Granted, many people complain about the Chelsea and City riches, but nobody points to their nationality as a pro or a con. I understand that race and nationality are not synonymous, but when I hear the word “Paki” come from English lips or “Mexican” from anglo lips, the connotation is crystal clear. But why are these nationalities spoken with ire a pejorative, but not Yank? Continue reading “A Brief Post on Post Post Colonialism” »
Some individuals consider “Night of the Living Dead” one of the greatest horror films ever created. I am not so full of myself, but it shall be my extended metaphor for the Ivory Coast – Algeria Liveblog later today. Join us. If you dare….
An entire cult of fan has dedicated itself to one simple thing: masochism. In Biblical terms, some individuals latch onto David despite the looming shadow of Goliath. They root for the underdog because as human beings, mammals with live birth and breastfeeding and what have ye, we share one common characteristic – empathy. At some level, we all disdain suffering in others.
I have a newsflash for the US team – I do not belong to this cult of the masochist. And I am tired of excuses. The US Gold Cup loss to Mexico, the recent 3-1 loss to Honduras, how can US soccer seriously speak of hosting a World Cup and realistically trying to win the darn thing?
Would home field advantage really be an advantage to the US? Or is this some moneymaking ploy? Continue reading “USMNT – The End of the Affair?” »