From the soul-crushing Catalans who lay siege to the crafty Valencia that lay traps at every corner, this series has focused heavily on the tactics of La Liga’s finest. But, whether it be war or sport, the times change, the tides turn, and technology rears its head. Those who fail to embrace the future, to run ahead of the bulls, risk getting left behind or, worse, trampled. In that regards, we look at the forward looking, long-distance divas of La Liga: Villareal. Continue reading “Villareal & the Spanish Art of War: the Archers” »
Monthly Archives: March 2010
MLS CBA – The Meeting of the Minds
FCDSTT – The Death of Debt in Football
We started with a noble mission – eliminate all debt in all of football. Football is more than a business – it is a way of life. And debt forever and irreparably harms the sport. Debt is the spoiled apple that ruins the barrel, the black plague that springs from victim to victim. We must be merciless when attacking all examples of this deadly disease. We must show no remorse. Football is not a balance sheet of x’s and o’s, it is a way of life. Thus, we have deployed the best tactic available to supporter’s groups – death threats. AND we sent out our first one! Continue reading “FCDSTT – The Death of Debt in Football” »
Junito: Do/Don't Make-Believe the Hype
I have a confession – this serial post/column/story has shattered and questioned every single one of my assumptions and goals. And that’s okay.
I started this concept as a tongue and cheek satire – in our society, at least America, we increasingly fetishize younger and younger athletes. The concept of “ESPNU” for people to oggle 18 year olds offends me on some level – and I have boldly predicted an “ESPN Grade School” within my lifetime. Will society be the better? Will childhood be sacrificed on the alter of hero worship? I don’t really know; II just thought I could get a cheap laugh.
But a funny thing happened – the series turned into a “Gleefully Proud/Daddy in Training” column. I began to share details about raising my son that generally stay in the annals of family history. On some level, individuals became more attached to Junito the child than Junito-the-future-greatest-player-for-Real-Madrid.
I stand at a crossroads and ask myself the question: is this healthy? And I stare in the mirror and answer: yes. Can you do the same? Have you pre-ordered your Junito Madrid jersey? Ahem.
But another, more startling development has tossed a wrench into this series. Junito, whom I dreamed would play for Real Madrid but realistically expected to perhaps get substitute minutes at Real Madrid Castilla, has actually shown a propensity for greatness. And, recently, a winning mentality…. Continue reading “Junito: Do/Don't Make-Believe the Hype” »
Valencia & the Spanish Art of War: the Ambush
Not all Spanish tribes suffocate their prey like the constricting Catalans. A fierce and respected tribe to the South, Valencia, sits back and springs traps. The Valencians are led by the shifty spy Villa who lives in the enemy’s shadows, and they are a force to be reckoned with… Continue reading “Valencia & the Spanish Art of War: the Ambush” »
FC "Distrust Supporters Trusts" Trust
So, perhaps you’ve noticed the amount of cyber ink spilt on supporter’s trusts. The idea is intriguing – supporters care about the club and provide a long-term voice of reason to combat shortsighted executives. In a time of crushing debt and looming administration, the fundamental economics of football are flawed and alternative organizational structures certainly appear enticing.
I, however, remain unconvinced. In the States, the word “trust” is synonymous with tax evasion, so perhaps its just my cultural bias. Of course, as a fan, my immediate concern is watching my team win the next game. Thus, I want my club to spend a ton on talented players’ wages so that we win that next game on the path to a championship.
I have a feeling I am not alone in my view of fanhood.
I also have the slight sensation that I am not the only person uneasy with these so called “trusts.” However, rather than toss the baby out with the bathwater, I will offer an alternative – my very own Soccer Trust. Anyone can be a member, but we will have a few very stern principles. Please join. Continue reading “FC "Distrust Supporters Trusts" Trust” »
Alberto Thingamajig not forgotten at Liverpool
Today we welcome a guestpost from the best satirical soccer blogger not named Bedorarrci, the one and only Nick Dunmore of the ever excellent FISTEDAWAY.
Rafael Benitez has assured some guy that he is not finished at Anfield, whatever it is he happens to do there.
Aqueduct, an Italian international – in some kind of sport is appears – has failed to adjust to the rigours of English football in his first season in the Premier League. At least, we think it is his first. Perhaps he has been here for ages. Did anyone see him come in? Continue reading “Alberto Thingamajig not forgotten at Liverpool” »
Barcelona & the Spanish Art of War: the Siege
So I realized that in my two years of blogging, I have made a huge mistake – I have somehow avoided the trite comparisons of sport/war and sport/chess. Well, I did touch on weapons in an ages old MLS power ranking, but this simile, like a virgin forest in Alaska, is ripe for a plundering. I also have seen some eery similarities between ancient military tactics and the current state of La Liga. I promise this is not just a rehash of my Argentina piece at Run of Play, but that is a nice intro.
Thus, I present Part I in a series that probably will only be one part. My topic? The Siege. My subject? The Dreaded Catalonian Legions. Continue reading “Barcelona & the Spanish Art of War: the Siege” »
MLS CBA – The Truth Behind the Intervention
Rooney & a Series of Trite Non-Football Puns
So, back in November of last year, Wayne Rooney was playing well and we sung his praises with a look at some trite football cliches. But here’s the dilemma – since that time, Rooney has gone on an even more torrid goalscoring run and his talents transcend “football.” Thus, we present a series of trite cliches that go beyond the sport. Continue reading “Rooney & a Series of Trite Non-Football Puns” »






