Monthly Archives: March 2010

Real Madrid v. Lyon – Paper Tiger Preview

Posted on by

So, in case you do not live in a cave with wax in your ears and a blindfold carefully tied over your eyes, Madrid has a bit of a big game. A reader reminded me that it has been ages since I last glanced into a magic ball via the assistance of David Bowie. Why? Why so long? Why so serious?

Well, the future is a terrifying place. I saw my own death, and, as expected, it sucks. I also saw a few other deaths – which likewise suck. You would never think that carrying a spoon while running down a flight of 12th century stairs in a Buddhist temple in Nepal would be dangerous, but then some careless monk tosses his banana peel and…You get the picture.

On the other hand, the future is amorphous. Too many writers toss out hypotheticals such as “If Madrid gets the first goal early, then…” or “If Lyon can survive the first 20 minutes, then…”.

Thus, in the interest of justice and reality and my journalistic integrity, I present my preview of the Madrid game with painstaking precision. Continue reading “Real Madrid v. Lyon – Paper Tiger Preview” »

Sergio Ramos: Athlete, Celebrity, Role Model

Posted on by

Now I know your general defense – athletes are not role models. No, when they sign their professional contract and jump headfirst into the public eye, they have a license to kill. The media is to blame for making them celebrities, not their sport. So what if they get the odd misdemeanor assault charge? Every family has a black sheep, so why should sport be different?

Well, my friend, I’m afraid just isn’t good enough. I have high standards for my testosterone exuding idols – which is why I am furious at Sergios Ramos for his latest goal celebration and its odd explanation. Continue reading “Sergio Ramos: Athlete, Celebrity, Role Model” »

The USMNT – Take a Deep Breath

Posted on by

So yeah, it’s been awhile since I dissected a few myths surrounding the US national team. In general, I like to avoid topics that invite trolls. In case you hadn’t noticed, my blog’s readership has focused on quality, not quantity. Do I go off the deep end to bad mouth the US soccer foundation for hosting roughly countless friendlies per year against Latin American teams on non-FIFA dates just for gate receipts? Yes. But good readers hold me in check.

So the game against Holland in Holland. The US failed to spectacularly crush the Dutch by a scoreline of 5-0 and you are disappointed and venting your frustration at individual players. Those who failed to score a hat trick are your forum effigies to be mocked and tossed under a semi-truck.

But should we really be concerned? Take…a…deep….breath. Continue reading “The USMNT – Take a Deep Breath” »