Junito has traded in his Huggies for calzoncillos (underpants)! The new influx of cash has led to an all important purchase – a Real Madrid jersey. However, I have come under criticism in some quarters for my treatment of Junito – am I inculcating him in some sort of blanquillo-obsessed cult?
Keep shooting, people, because the arrows fall off this iron-thick skin like a drop of water. The word “culto” means “cultured, educated,” in Spanish, so I will just pretend that instead of cult, you wanted to say culto. Yes, I am indoctrinating my son to be cultured and educated. What an astute observation!
Still, due to some financial distress, I was unable to get Junito an official Madrid jersey. Additionally, there were some cleaning concerns. The all white shirt must not be sodden, and Junito has not yet mastered the use of the silverware. Granted, the important thing is that Junito wear the shirt with pride and aplomb. But the fried cheese stains probably make the spirit of Puskas cry.
Despite a nose for goal, I have a confession to make – I still harbor hope that Junito can develop into a withdrawn striker/false nine. The shining example of grace for my money is Dennis Bergkamp of Arsenal fame. The Dutchman struck a fine balance between the amazing assist and the elegant goal.
There’s just one little stumbling block: the Ajax academy generally does not accept youths under the age of 5, but I do have their number on my cell phone. I haven’t cared call them, but it would be a shame to miss such a call because I thought it was a solicitor and didn’t answer. I could return the phone call, but I would hate to imperil Junito’s development in anyway.
And yes, I know what you’re thinking – the star of Real Madrid…at the Ajax Academy? Right now I am not impressed by the Madrid youth system. The “cantera” is appalling. Granero? Come on. Thus, Junito’s initial career path has two possible projections – either the Eredivisie, ala Ronaldo, or the Portuguese Liga, ala Ronaldo. He could dabble in the Premiership or maybe Serie A to cut his teeth, but nothing long-term. A post-35 deal in Qattar is also a distinct possibility.
Still, seeing as Junito is too young to start lifting weights, I have focused heavily on his cognitive development. Recently, he was able to recite the entire “burrito song” with no assistance. For those of you anglos, the burrito song refers to a “small donkey” who does not know the vowels. It is an excellent method to teach the kiddos the “vocales” in Spanish. Junito has excelled, as expected, but I am not sure he is ready to dive headfirst into the stormy ocean of consonants.
For now, to ensure he becomes a student of the game, I am emphasizing an exacting and rigorous approach to writing his own name in cellophane blocks. Absolutely, positively no taking a bite out the blocks. Not even a little bit. Junito, to his credit, has responded positively to my draconian, Fabio Capello, taskmaster tactics. As you can see…
Junito: English for “Mata-Barca”