Monthly Archives: June 2010

World Cup Quarters – "& Then There Were 8"

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The typical suspects have overcome group stage difficulties to rise to the top. However, no smoking gun has appeared to point out the single culprit most likely to win the tournament. Using a really big magnifying glass, a trench coat, a smart talking sidekick, and intuition, we embarked on an investigation of the remaining teams in this World Cup quarterfinals, searching for clues in a sea of uncertainty. Our conclusion as to who will win the World Cup?

All signs point to…. Continue reading “World Cup Quarters – "& Then There Were 8"” »

The US & England: Blame the Bloody Children!

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It’s that time of the year again. Another major tournament. Another quarterfinal round exit (or earlier) for team anglosaxon. While I was happy with the US performance and thought England put in a strong first half against sprightly Germany, now begins the inquest into the soul of our respective footballing cultures. Some will blame individual players – X midfielder messed up on Z play. Others will point the finger at the manager – why did Bob Capello play player Y, and not player W?

I, however, prefer to be a bit more general my blame, so that those accused cannot defend themselves. And the largest group of individuals with the least opportunity to defend themselves is children. Continue reading “The US & England: Blame the Bloody Children!” »

US Loses & ESPN Colossal #FAIL

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So, the US lost. I am sad, but happy we did not get played off the park and advanced out of our group. Salutations to Ghana – I do not wish you well, but you deserved to win. Daggumit!

Still, despite the unprecedented attention to the World Cup in the US, unfortunately big media continues to churn out amusing errors by the boatloads. You may recall the NYTime’s error about Zizou playing for Italy. Well, ESPN did them one better. Check out this screenshot…


Did you catch the glaring error in the match grades? A hint – think “copy & paste.” Okay, here it is in case you missed it… Continue reading “US Loses & ESPN Colossal #FAIL” »

Part 2 of My Moderately Accurate Predictions

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I went 11 for 16 on my last round of predictions (if you include the prediction I refused to put on paper: US wins the group, England comes in second…you’ll just have to trust me), which kind of sucks to be honest.  But since I’m playing pundit, absolute past failure will have no impact on my ability to predict future trends.  Being a pundit is great! Continue reading “Part 2 of My Moderately Accurate Predictions” »

US v. Algeria – Player Ratings

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The tie against England, the stirring comeback against Slovenia, could the US world cup run get any more dramatic? In a word, yes. The Yanks brought an attacking verve to the clash with Algeria, but the ball simply refused to ripple the back of the net. Still, a combination of excellent fitness, quick thinking, and American willpower combined beautifully for a fantastic goal deep in injury time from none other than Landon Donovan. Yes, the Landon Donovan you hate. Eat your hearts out.

The US world cup hopes were minutes from extinction, just as the development of mammal life faced similar challenges in the late Cretaceous period. Still, the nimble, live-birth life forms eventually grew up to run the show, surpassing the aging and decaying Dinosaur species.

And now, now that my heart has partially re-entered the chest cavity, I give you your player grades. Continue reading “US v. Algeria – Player Ratings” »

You Know Nothing of Sengkang Punggol FC

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So, you enjoyed the world cup matches, didn’t you? The goals. The drama. The near misses. The crushing weight of expectations bearing upon broad shoulders, the dissipation of dreams like the dew of an August morning. Yet one very important victory escaped your grasp. It happened in Singapore. No, this is not some of that low level “second division” soccer stuff. This is not some “World Cup Break” twist and turn to divert your attention to something that is merely superficially amusing.

No, this is profoundly amusing. Continue reading “You Know Nothing of Sengkang Punggol FC” »

Mexico v. Uruguay: Calculating Conspiracy

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The World Cup group stages is an engineer’s delight. After each game, you can pull out your graphing calculator, whip up an excel spreadsheet, and coherently articulate the goals/points/wins necessary for the teams to advance. However, not all of us who follow the game revel in the hegemony of mathematical summation. Despite a very clear system of categorization imposed upon the beautiful game, the human element lends itself to fanciful speculation. And who doesn’t love fanciful speculation? Continue reading “Mexico v. Uruguay: Calculating Conspiracy” »

Wherein I Tell You Who Wins the Cup (Part 1)

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Would you like to get way wayyyy ahead of ourselves?  I know I would.  Add the discovery of the World Cup bracket and my trying to figure out what to do with my life after the last match of the evening, and you get a fun game of what-if scenarios.  But before you get into the bracket, you have to know who is going to get out of the group stage.  Thankfully, I’m here to tell you.

Continue reading “Wherein I Tell You Who Wins the Cup (Part 1)” »

The World Cup Links the World, So We Steal

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Instead of writing a lot, I’m just going to steal some content to try and brighten your Monday morning. Here goes….

The US mounted a stirring comeback against Slovenia, yet a third goal by the Yanks was incorrectly(?) called back. Alan Jacobs at Run of Play argues that referees are weak – they prefer to rule out goals in close calls rather than vice versa. Why this presumption? Well, an allowed goal leads to cries of bias, while an incorrect call leads to shouts of incompetence. Presumably, they prefer to be incompetent than biased. T, meanwhile, makes the case for instant replay. However, given the clusterf@ck environment of setpieces, I think this would give ref’s too much cherry-picking discretion and/or take way too long. Just long enough for a Bud light lime commercial. And a Ford Focus commercial. Continue reading “The World Cup Links the World, So We Steal” »