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Cheers to Elliott, who has given me a platform to openly disagree with him even though I haven’t told him yet. More on that later.
First, many apologies to my 2 loyal readers (Hi mom!) for the lack of posts. A trip to Cape Town where I had no internet access except for the blackberry restricted my ability to post. Is it too late to rewind back and give analysis of the US/England match?
Continue reading “Elliott and I Disagree, and other Ruminations” »
This is just a gentle remainder that tomorrow you can see a bunch of convoluted Elvis Presley references and photoshopped pictures. Oh, and we may occasionally reflect upon the Ivory Coast-Brazil game. Or as ye olde Spanish speakers may say, PARTIDAZO.
Please come joint the fun. Or at the very least email me a negative RSVP, so that I can order enough juice and cookies for everyone in attendance. Same batplace. Same battime.
The England game is firmly behind us. A fluke goal could not overshadow a creditable fightback and a respectable draw. Next on the agenda, though, was a deceptively dangerous game of the Eastern European variety. Last World Cup, the Czech Republic put the US to the sword in a matter of minutes.
The US played a first half to forget – despite a wicked Torres free kick, the US fell two goals behind and struggled to create chances. At halftime, Bradley made a double substitution – replacing the patient Torres with the tackling Edu, and the speedster Findley with the slick passing Feilhaber. Neither scored, but an improved second half performance saw two goals breathe life into the US campaign.
Only one theme could capture this two-faced performance. The dinoflagellate. The dinoflagellate? Yes. The dinoflagellate. I only hope using them as an extended metaphor for soccer writing will not anger them. But enough science talk hoss, let’s get to the grades… Continue reading “US v. Slovenia – World Cup Player Ratings” »
Theories abounded that this World Cup would favor attacking teams. The cold weather was supposed to lead to superior fitness and, ergo, a goalfest of epic proportions. However, these scientific theories overlooked a very simple fact – we live in the dark ages of soccer. Despite Barcelona’s great season a year ago and Spain’s title as European champion, the tendency to pack the box and not risk tossing numbers forward plagues the world of football like pox-carrying rats. These locusts have resulted in a paltry first round goal total and abysmal goal per game percentage. Continue reading “Withering World Cup & Brazilian Brightness” »
So, the world’s largest sporting event is taking place right now. While some unfortunate superstars, such as Andrei Arshavin, and not participating, you would certainly expect Real Madrid’s future greatest footballer to take the field. Or at least be glued to the television. Aside from the glorious spectacle, many of the nation’s top stars will be fading solar systems by the time Junito climbs the ranks, aging carcasses for him to ravage and consume in his bloodthirsty, ruthless climb to the top.
Sorry, but I’m afraid not. Junito is, you see, a three year old with an iron will. Junito is blissfully impervious to the media hype surrounding said event. In laymen’s terms, it’s all about the football. Junito is ravenous for goals and wins, not reality tv shows and product plugs. Ironically, his reluctance to conduct interviews has generated the “can’t touch this” media hype that no amount of botox can buy.
Still, part of me suspects that, deep down, he really does care. Continue reading “Junito – The Bliss & Genius of the Impervious” »
So, I generally try to stay away from the “Guardian-fact-checking” style of blogging. I also am a huge fan of the Goal blog at the NYTimes. Still, that made this morning’s reading all the more disturbing.
How intriguing, no? Zidane won the World Cup with Italy in 1998 and then played against Italy in the 2006 final? Surely that’s got to be a record or something. So maybe Materazzi talked some trash because Zizou betrayed the Azzurri.
Or maybe, just maybe, Zizou never played for Italy. And maybe Italy did not win the World Cup in 1998. And maybe….
To the cries of “taxation without representation” and “remember the Boston tea party,” the United States bravely took the field against its colonial masters, ie, England. While the Yanks had long ago traded tea for Coca Cola and fish & chips for burgers & fries, some remnants of lingering Anglo-Saxon roots remained. Both sides struggle in patient possession and apply pressure high up the field. Both enjoy the jumping and heading of the ball, in addition to a firm tackle mixed with some shoulder-to-shoulder shannanigans.
But the 2-0 drubbing at Wembley a few years ago cast doubt on whether the US could compete. When an early goal struck a hole in their sails, uncertainty gripped the American fan. Would we capitulate again as against the Czechs? But a hard fought clawback ensued, with both sides eventually sharing the spoils in a reasonably close affair with scoring chances at a premium.
And who, you may ask, from the US stood out? Who shone brightly like millenia old dark matter? You know who. Continue reading “US v. England – World Cup Player Ratings” »
Apparently, the Brazilian referees for tomorrow’s game are beefing up on their English pejoratives. However, given the vast chasm between British and American English, I fear that some innocent chitchat may lead to an unwarranted yellow card. Allow me to illustrate. Continue reading “US v. England Preview – The Referee Review” »
There’s really no way to tell a jointed story of Day 1 of the Cup, but three things stood out:
Continue reading “Day 1 Recap: Fanfests, Coca-Cola, and Racism” »
This, my friends, is the smoke before the fire, the thunder before the lightning, the salty sea breeze that portends the coming hurricane. Enjoy and savor the smell, because when all is said and done, when your house lies in rubble, your cash savings burned to keep warm, a smile shall not grace your face. But rather a physical embodiment of WTF?
So now, using the latest in scientology periodic knowledge, based on the same understanding the belied BP’s concept of risk, I invite you to enjoy this periodic table of World Cup proportions. Continue reading “The World Cup Periodic Table” »