The beauty of soccer lies in the invisible realm of human interaction. Synapses, emotions, understanding, the unseen often dictates human relations more so than the obvious. All too often, the realm of movies with voice-over kills the complexity of a clever screenplay or a dynamic play. If one could pry open Jose’s skull and see his thoughts, they would either be “Oh mierda” or “Oh shit.” Welcome to Madrid, Monseur Mourinho. Continue reading “Real Madrid v. Mallorca – Jose Borinho” »
Monthly Archives: August 2010
Soccer News – Part Round-up, Part Sound Off
Not quite original content, not quite a link-up, we present a special new post here at Futfanatico: the sarcastic one. Novel, no? Now on with it.
First, the Guardian reports that Inter faxed an offer for Javier Mascherano to Liverpool. The offer? Sulley Muntari plus 6 million pounds. Now I know your confusion – after reading that sentence, you thought that Inter must have offered to pay Liverpool 6 million pounds to take Muntari’s wages off the book. No. I’m afraid not. Re-read the sentence…. Yep. So here’s my explanation.
Alcohol. Some sneaky intern got a bit tipsy while working late hours and mailed in a preposterous fax to Liverpool. The Guardian article failed to give a date or time for the fax, so this is entirely plausible. Another explanation is that Muntari sent the fax himself, hoping to leave Inter, and wrote it in confusing language in the hopes of confusing Liverpool. Perhaps he wrote “You will not unsign Javier Mascherano in the possible exchange for accepting Sulley Muntari and you don’t not dislike six million pounds DO NOT SIGN HERE IF YOU DON’T ACCEPT.” Continue reading “Soccer News – Part Round-up, Part Sound Off” »
Junito: Papy's Porous Performance
Up until this point, the story of Junito’s rise to the top of Real Madrid has been rather “toddler-centric.” However, it was inevitable that my actuacion as papy-entrenador would come into question after a run of poor results. I hate to say it, but if I were England manager, I would be more McLaren then Eriksson (which is a bad thing).
Unlike Raymond Domenech, my aloof and academic demeanor has not led to an explosion of infighting at the household. I have nothing to run from. However, like a certain Capello, my tactics and approach to personnel has been called into question. Basically, am I putting Junito first? Continue reading “Junito: Papy's Porous Performance” »
A Test of the Best of the Rest of the West
It’s time for a good old fashioned link-up. Stop, make sure no co-workers or supervisors are in sight, and then click more. Wait for it….wait for it….wait for it…NOW Continue reading “A Test of the Best of the Rest of the West” »
A Glance at the Premiere of the Premiership
There is a saying – familiarity breeds contempt. However, for the attacking trident of Chelsea, a keen understanding and movement has led to a whopping 12-0 goal differential and two wins. Granted, neither West Brom nor Wigan will be fighting for titles this season, but…but…but…six goals is six goals is six goals. Continue reading “A Glance at the Premiere of the Premiership” »
Mourinho's Shining Talent Meets Madrid
So, in the spirit of WAATP shit look-a-likes, I stumbled upon a delightful feature film which I think sets the course for Jose Mourinho’s coaching career at Real Madrid. That film? Stanley Kubrick’s “The Shining.” So grab a bag of fresh popcorn, tuck your kiddos safely into bed, and get ready to be terribly amazed. Continue reading “Mourinho's Shining Talent Meets Madrid” »
It's Officially Pele Week at the Run of Play
For those of you not in the know (yes, you), Brian at Run of Play has been holding a special “Pele Week” to celebrate the player who advertised for Viagra but did not use it. Of course, Pele denied needing to use the ED solving drug, but that did not stop an immediate surge in use & eventual government restrictions on ads. O Rei, indeed.
I wrote a guest post for Mr. Phillips’ delightful site, ignoring the ED issues and focusing on the greatest goal never scored and the most overrated goal ever scored. Read here.
Junito: Fearing Fear itself, Fearfully
Every society has a cultural expression for childhood fear. In the United States of America, a land of abundance, vast homes, and suburban distance, the isolation manifests itself in the form of monsters. These monster do not lurk in the woods, the roof, or the basement. Rather, these insidious fiends dwell in the vacant spaces that we reserve for our bloated quantity of non-essential material possessions: the closet, under the bed. At night, after you parents have left and the clouds have strangled any glimpse of light out of the moon, you can hear the creepy critters scattering about. You pull the sheet up and over your head, but to no avail. The monster can hear you breathing. And, more disturbingly, you can hear them breathing.
Like the IPCC, I may lack some peer-reviewed scientific support for my conclusions, but these monsters are the stuff of fantasy. Despite my insistence that my father inspect the empty suitcases in my closet night after night, no gremlin ever emerged. Yet the fear I felt in my childhood was real; it gripped me.
In Nicaragua, the children fear a more tangible menace. Upon the rat-a-tat of a snare drum, shrieks feel the streets as toddlers run indoor to cower inside locked bathrooms. The drumming reaches a frenetic beat, and then the monster presents him or herself. Adorned in an elaborate mask and 18th century colonial attire, accompanied by a wide headed and body-less monster playing the snare, the dreaded gigantona steps into view.
I fear only for the fear of Junito. And how this fear may affect his career at Real Madrid. Continue reading “Junito: Fearing Fear itself, Fearfully” »
Some Interesting Reads for a Lazy Friday
I will keep this short and sweet in light of your overpowering and anxious anticipation of the coming Premier League kick-off.
First, Brian Phillips asks if we don’t appreciate Pele as much as we should. Brian draws upon two notions of hero – the all conquering good guy vs. the rebellious adolescent (Maradona). The point is intriguing and the comments, as per usual, are treats in and of themselves.
Second, FakeSigi asks if Brook at Dirty Tackle is sexist. Actually, the post is supposedly a retraction and apology, yet Sigi scoured Brook’s site to point at articles that treat women’s soccer as “accessories” by their flippant tone. However, does that flippant tone merely reflect the entirety of the site? Ironically, would Brooks treating women’s soccer and only women’s soccer more seriously be chauvinistic by treating that topic differently (ie, with “more care”, almost “gentlemanly”) than the rest? Read. And decide. And check out the comments.
US v. Brazil – An American Dreaming Realities
Let’s play in the world of a constructed binary. The land of television is seduction. Images and sound combine to tempt you, seduce you, and entertain you. Helpless, you sit there, motionless. The flashing light leaves you still, like a deer in front of a semi on a back alley road in the dead of night.
Pause.
Welcome to reality. The sunlight burns your eyes and warms your skin. A gentle breeze caresses your neck. The feint odor of garlic abounds, flaring your nostrils. You are in your body. This is reality.
So what was the US game vs. Brazil last night? Continue reading “US v. Brazil – An American Dreaming Realities” »