Junito: Papy's Porous Performance

Up until this point, the story of Junito’s rise to the top of Real Madrid has been rather “toddler-centric.” However, it was inevitable that my actuacion as papy-entrenador would come into question after a run of poor results. I hate to say it, but if I were England manager, I would be more McLaren then Eriksson (which is a bad thing).

Unlike Raymond Domenech, my aloof and academic demeanor has not led to an explosion of infighting at the household. I have nothing to run from. However, like a certain Capello, my tactics and approach to personnel has been called into question. Basically, am I putting Junito first?

The fruit of temptation came in the form of SoccerPro. Basically, the good folks over there offered me a chance to review some products. I had my run of the store, and, for a moment, I thought about getting Junito a proper pair of boots. There was just one problem – at age three and still confined to playing indoors, I wasn’t sure a small pair of taconcitos were quite right for him. He already had two Real Madrid jerseys, his Ronaldo camiseta mocking my Kaka casaca.

And, more pressingly, my Ronaldinho-era Nike Tiempo soccer cleats have started to decay after three glorious years. Surely a hardworking, thoughtful, and not entirely conceited papy such as me deserved one moment of thoughtless, conceited, materialistic indulgence? Or so I rationalized.

In terms of sports material, I’ve always preferred leather. In that sense, I’m a bit of an S&M leather daddy. In my younger days, as a forward, I did dabble in the weird-plastic stuff, convinced my toe poke got off a half a second quicker. But as I get older and successive coaches place me farther and farther away from goal, trapping and properly weighted passes have become more important. The new Nike Tiempo boots fit the bill in every sporting sense. But in the coaching sense, they’ve opened me up to criticism.

Now, Junito did not pull a John Terry. He did, though, admit that he thought my cleats were bonito. Nice. He also pointed out, annoyed, that he himself did not need such shoes para ganar la copa mundial. True. But I could see the look of disgust in his face and hear the edge in his voice. When I was called aside by my assistant/supervisor/colleague, the morenita bonita of my suenos, I knew I was in for it.

Yet little was said. Sometimes, a look says more than a thousand words. All the years of credibility and confidence building washed down the drain. The cleats are nice and I enjoy them, but the precious team-building must begin anew. Obviously, at the top of the list is player participation in team meetings – from now on, after intense video study sessions, I want the player, Junito, to clearly express his opinions and thoughts. The preferred median being the spoken word, not the face…

“Nuevos zapatos…para un viejote como usted?”