So, part of me believes that the Yank ownership spree in the UK is universal and cosmic justice for the American revolution. As karma payback for “taxation representation,” the Brits must suffer “debt re-consolidation with no prospects for salvation.” Or something to that effect. Case in point: Liverpool FC’s sale/bid/legal drama.
While other bloggers will point to the bids as signs of the deeply troubled state of European soccer and others will reflect on the naivete of the Americans jumping into a foreign venture without doing due diligence (read: serious wage inflation), I prefer to keep things here concise and to the point. I prefer to avoid the impassioned trolling that can overtake the best of soccerblogs.Thus, I ask for your help, dear reader, in inventing a single term to describe the now failed debt-fueled American takeover of European soccer clubs. Let’s begin…
The first term that sprang to mind and leading candidate is “soccercide.” Soccer is the American term for football. Several decades ago, a different sport stateside which rarely involves a foot touching a ball co-opted that term. The cide speaks for itself – think of regicide or homicide or even pesticide. This is the obvious front-runner.
The second term is really just a French term and therefore a strong candidate. Just imagine Michel Platini speaking about the evil English clubs, the arrogant American owners, cracking open a snail shell and sucking out the good meat, wiping his lips, taking a sip of a glass of Merlot, and then sticking up his noise and sighing painfully “avoir des dettes.” It means “to be in debt.” And it seems apt. Although my French language skills are limited.
The third term builds upon a post I wrote last season about the “franchise concept” and sports. It is franchisphilia. Basically, the premise of the franchise is a shallow marketing ploy – consumers, like cattle, will display preferences for a restaurant or product based on name association, history of association, and marketing. Philia is from necrophilia – as the American owners seek to unearth disgusting pleasures from the decaying carcasses of elite clubs.
So there you have your candidates, soccercide, avoir des dettes, and franchisphilia. I prefer the second, but only because I’m a big fan of snails and Merlot.