Pusky Rekindled – The Interview – Part 2

Two large gaps in the soccer blogosphere threaten to engulf us all. First,  the spirit of the classic CNN-interview-own-journalist-as-expert. Second, the feelings shared by real celebrities as the “fake-celebrity-twitter” contagion. I had hoped for help from Pusky, but he batted his cyber eyelashes and rejected my online advances in the cruelest form – the unreturned email. Rather than check my inbox on my Iphone incessantly, I will avoid the later-life-styles arthritic bills and do the interview of myself.

Yes, that’s right, you finally get an exclusive, no punches-held-glimpse at the inner workings of the brain behind this site. Prepare to be mortifiedly terrified. Or terrifiedly mortified.

FUTFANATICO: Elliott, this is your first exclusive interview and I have to say, it’s an honor to have it here on the site.

ELLIOTT: It’s my pleasure, really.

FUTFANATICO: So Elliott, like a lot of bloggers, you started off spamming both BigSoccer and SoccerbyIves pretty heavily. You also coded the site-by-hand and wrote very sarcastic game recaps at a soul-crushing pace. Do any of those facts embarrass you?

ELLIOTT: the admins at BigSoccer were really kind, actually. I admire them for that. The coding by hand taught me important life lessons about outsourcing and India. I even learned a little ZHTML, although my Ajavascript sucks.

FUTFANATICO: you’re not embarrassed about spamming SoccerbyIves? Not in the slightest? So would you care to make public the abrasive email exchange between you and the lead writer?

ELLIOTT: No.

FUTFANATICO: moving on…regardless of the humble beginnings, your site has started to gain some traction in the blogosphere. Recently, you were nominated for an award that was not created by your own site to be won by your own site. What was that like?

ELLIOTT: awkward, but rewarding. I am humbled to be considered a low traffic blog by Unprofessional Foul and the memories will last a lifetime. Sadly, my low traffic did not result in very many votes for the award. I did not anticipate that occurring.

FUTFANATICO: tracking back a bit, before all the awards and fame, what inspired you to begin blogging about soccer?

ELLIOTT: a few years back, I was living in Houston, Texas, when Hurricane Ike descended upon my humble apartment. I slept through the hurricane on a comforter in a windowless bathroom. When I woke up the next day, everything seemed fine. However, after half a day, the City decided to turn off my electricity for whatever reason. I immediately fled to my Uncle’s house in Waco for a week. He had Fox Soccer Channel. I had 168 hours to kill. Sale vi.

FUTFANATICO: So Elliott, questions abound. Some readers embrace your detached sardonic tone, but we all want to know a bit more about you as a person. Why write about soccer? And personally, confusion reigns as to your last name. Is it Turner or Tucker?

ELLIOTT: well, that’s a funny story about the last name. But I don’t care to tell it. I believe that my work stands alone as a testament of all that is absurd about soccer & life in general. Soccer is my muse and inspiration because I did not play it as a youth – rather, I gave up a successful spell of high school and collegiate hockey to have her. Now that I’ve cashed in all my chips, there’s no looking back. I would only feel the tinge of regret.

FUTFANATICO: well, now that the site has gotten a foothold and some semblance of a following, do you have any regrets? Concerns?

ELLIOTT: I am a bit peeved by this whole “fake celebrity” twitter account business. I can’t decide if the proper analogy is a fly following a rhino and waiting for it to poop, but something smells. Where do these people get off stealing the images of celebrities and then slapping on a “fake” to make the sting go away. As if…

FUTFANATICO: well speaking of images, why don’t you have a pic of yourself on the site?

ELLIOTT: as I stated earlier, my work speaks for itself. I don’t want my dark mop-top hair, milk white skin, and baby blue eyes distracting readers from the reading. That’s why I put a picture of George Best as my twitter icon. Keep the focus on non-ridiculously handsome men. That’s my secret to success.

FUTFANATICO: Um. Okay. So, backtracking, again, you must be incensed that this “fakefutfanatico” character has recently appeared. What’s the deal with that?

ELLIOTT: well, he has like, two followers, so I’m not worried. Plus, his website is parked at godaddy, so he knows nothing of the web. I heard a rumor that he was about to publish a “behind the Futfanatico website disaster” post, but I think the fact that my website looks like a first grader drawing in Internet Explorer adds to the charm of the place. On an emotional level, yes, I’m profoundly disturbed. But professionally, no worries.

FUTFANATICO: so, awards, fake fan accounts, despite all the glamour and ritz of today, where do you see your website heading in the future? Is there any direction whatsoever, or is this more of a Harrison Ford-film-protagonist part?

ELLIOTT: well, first off, the Junito series will soon kick into overdrive – he’s joined a league, I’ve got a sweet digital camera, and am in the process of getting some video editing software. I’ve used the Adobe creative suite in the past, but am open to any suggestions. Second, while some people have dumped on the “subscription model” and pay walls, I think the success of IPads and Kindles show people will pay a nominal monthly fee for quality writing. Is DTP the future of Futfanatico? Maybe. Would people fork over $0.25 per month to read my stuff on their IPad or Kindle? Perchance.

FUTFANATICO: so, in summation, you started this website because of a hurricane, you refuse to reveal any personal images or confirm your last name, you only started paying soccer late in life (and ergo know nothing), and soon expect people may pay $3 a year to read or see videos about your four year old.

ELLIOTT: exactly.