The Futfanatico Book – Fresh & Warm, Get it While it's Hot!

Posted on by

Pretty sweet cover, right? It is “Don Diego en su biblioteca – Diego Maradona in his personal library.” Why? Because we all know that Diego counts reading among his famously favorite hobbies. That’s why. Obvio.

But details briefly aside, the ebook is now available! For only $5.99! Click here to purchase the ebook for the Amazon Kindle or click here for the ebook for the Barnes & Noble Nook. You can even try out a free limited sample, just to test the waters. What are you waiting for? Oh, you don’t have a Kindle or Nook, you say. Well, here’s some advice.

I hate to break promises and bad news, but there will be no print edition. I’ve exhausted all possibilities, including print on demand, and it’s just not in the cards. Why? The biggest hurdle is that print editions require significant front-end capital. Guess what I don’t have – significant front-end capital. Print editions also lead to acid rain and, unconfirmed reports suggest, an Angel loses her wings every time you buy a print book. And a puppy dies. Do you really want that weighing on your conscience?

Also, on a meta-scale, I’m not eager to buy a non-refundable one way ticket on the Hindenburg express. Brick & mortar paper book stores are not exactly thriving. At first I contemplated a super limited print run at a much higher price. However,  unlike the DVD-teases at Netflix, I decided against gorging prices on an outdated median. I will instead frankly & forthrightly deliver the deathblow on your behalf. Cold. Heartless. Efficient. In a word: me.

But there is good news: you still have options. And here they are…

First, you can simply download the free PC version of the Kindle. Or download the free PC version of the Nook. Then you can enjoy reading the book on your very own personal computer. What could be lovelier?

Second, if you have a smartphone or tablet computer, download the free Kindle App or free Nook App for that device. There is a Nook app for just about everything. Same goes for the Kindle. You will look so smart & hip & chic reading my ebook on your Ipad or Galaxy at that dive-coffee shop. Sip on a Shiner. Gawk at the lovely 30 plus original illustrations by Erik Ebeling. Stutter at the brilliant simplicity of Brian Phillips‘ foreword. Flirt with the barista with the Buddy Holly glasses that still lives in his parents’ basement. What could be more life affirming?

For you author wannabes, here’s the dirty details on ebook self-publishing. No, I am not a salesman that gets a commission for plugging the Kindle & Nook. Rather, most other e-reader devices required me to use Smashwords, an antiquated one-size-fits-all conversion site that also takes a chunk out of the commissions on my sales. I know – a fully automated one time service that profits off royalties. Sounds like a scam. Tastes like a  scam. It is a…….You get the picture. Thus, I chose to avoid it.

Instead, I used Booknook to contract out the conversion of my Word Doc into Mobi and Epub for a one-time fee.  They were professional, had a quick turn-around time, did a bang up job, and offer reasonable rates. I highly recommend them. They were superior to the free Calibre conversion software around the web, especially in regards to the formatting and images. However, I duly note, Calibre is pretty cool.

Sadly, despite having an Epub version, I am not selling directly on the Apple Bookstore because they require an eISBN number. What is that, you ask? An id number for a book, from the era of antiquity. ISBN numbers were useful in the past to keep track of paper book stats, but the internet has rendered them obsolete. More disturbingly, unlike the affordable and government-issued ISBNs in other countries, in the United States all authors and businesses who seek such an ISBN number have to deal with a dreadful private/public partnership: Bowker. Combining the monopoly power of the state with the pricing power of capitalist swines, they charge three figures per ISBN number. Not…worth….it.

Also, Apple boasts about the “halo effect” but has questionable business practices to snuff out competition. Sadly, due to a pricing dispute with Amazon, folks with iPads and iPhones will need to purchase the book at the Amazon website via Safari or another browser. They cannot directly buy books via the Kindle app as of today.

If you want any more juicy tips, shoot me an email. I offer competitive ebook consulting hourly rates.

Oh, and buy the book. Click here for the ebook for the Kindle. Click here for the ebook for the Nook.

Contest winners, we will be in touch. The artist is probably going to sign some prints of the gorgeous artwork in the book, and that will have to suffice for your award. I know a lot of you put your heart & soul into that arduous three question quiz. It will not be in vain, I assure you. Lo siento!

Note: Bowker does offer discounted ISBN numbers for large purchases – a decent situation for large publishers, but not good for individual authors.

2 thoughts on “The Futfanatico Book – Fresh & Warm, Get it While it's Hot!

  1. Thanks Webbie! Also, as a sidenote – there will be no PDF version. I looked into directly selling the epub, mobi, PDF stuff, but is wasn’t feasible.