OWN GOALS – check out my writing at other fine sites

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I’ve got some quality links here, care to click? Granted, some of these links are for my own writing, and some are not. Still, I recommend you click on these links. If you have a smartphone or tablet computer, then I suggest you tap on them. If you have a super cool motion-sensor technology computer, I suggest you tap the air. If you have a way super cool retina-detecting computer, I suggest you blink. If you are a computer, then I prostrate before you and apologize for all this site’s fucking 404 errors. But seriously, tell GoogleBot to come by here once a week, not every three hours. He’s worn out his welcome.

Cough, ahem, sorry. Here are the links.

The present keeps getting worse for lower division Spanish club Real Oviedo. Sadly, their demise appears inevitable as the City Council remains indifferent. However, they enjoyed a glorious era of delanteras electricas just before the Spanish civil war. You can also brush up on your Euskaldi with a tale on Arenas Club de Getxo. (In Bed With Maradona)

From the past to the present, I put together some somewhat coherent thoughts on how twitter has transformed our consumption of live sports. No, I did not dwell on how an upgraded chat room has united normally lonely TV viewers. Rather, I kept thinking about Mystery Science Theater 3000. The jokes, people. Twitter is great for the jokes. (The Classical)

Pep is leaving Barca and Mou just signed an extension at Real Madrid, but what if history was reversed? What if history was fiction? What if Barca actually managed to poach Mou from Madrid and avenge the Figo betrayal? This excellent bit of fantasy will blow you away. It’s the joyous textual equivalent of listening to a hit Jedward single for the first time. (The Classical)

As a purveyor of good fashion sense, shown by my George Best Twitter avatar, I am happy to keep you abreast of soccer style happenings. Danny in BsAs showed me an amazing Diego t-shirt. Feel free to purchase. For money of course. (Live Breathe Futbol)

Didier Drogba is leaving Chelsea, apparently for China. However, in one of his last acts, he turned thespian and admonished the coveted European trophy for teasing and eluding him for so long. Laurent D has all the goods. (Soccer Politics)

Chelsea won the Champions League. This is ironic, because for a team that dominated for so long, they were pretty clearly the underdogs in the last few matches – at least if you buy the “possession=domination” theory of sport. So, how did they do it? Luck, perchance. (Regista)

Of course, on the other hand, some say that luck is merely “when preparation meets opportunity.” On that note, I love each and every story about a successful goalie’s preparations before penalty kicks. Why? Because think of all the stories we don’t read  about a losing goalie’s futile preparations. Petr Cech said he studied video of Bayern’s penalty kick takers. Ben Foster watched penalty videos on his iPod. Jens Lehman had an assistant coach pass him a handwritten crib sheet. I secretly dream that somewhere, sometime, a goalie tattooed each and every penalty kick taker’s preferences on his forearms, only for the game to not reach penalties or for him to get wrong footed by a patch of mud over the goal line.

Manuel Neur may have taken handwritten notes on a cribsheet while watching several years of Chelsea penalty kicks on his iPad, but we will never know. Nobody will ever ask him because he lost. He will trash talk Sergio Ramos via twitter, but his lips are sealed as to his useless penalty preparations. As it should be.

(NOTE: less than two weeks are left for my new eBook to raise $250 bones at Kickstarter. I am offering cool rewards like my “Best of” Ebooks and “Illustrated Guide” at just above cost, in addition to prints and playing cards and signed jerseys. Please back the project and ensure “Real Madrid & Barcelona: the Making of a Rivalry” becomes reality. Check it out here)

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