Diversifying Your Investment Portfolio: Real Oviedo >>> BUY

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Barack Obama has won the Presidency. Thus, the tax-reduced dividend gravy train of the last decade is coming to an end. You, the savvy investor, face a brave new world of returns, but not in the blue chips. Rather, you must embrace risk. You must seek dangerous but possibly profitable returns in overlooked businesses and even depressed markets. Where are you right now? Cash. CDs. DVDs. Muni bonds. James Bonds. Saving Accounts. Count Draculas. Nobody really understands all those financial terms, not even your broker. Your retirement plan is a joke, a relic from 2010 like Hipster Runoff or the Tea Party. The fact your financial adviser is called a “broke-r” is worrisome.

Still, there remains hope. Allow me to impart some financial wisdom on you. By coincidence, a fantastic bargain has come up in the world of soccer.

Spain’s economy stinks. Unemployment is high. The country may need a bailout. You see the smoke and run for cover. I, however, smell a sweet deal. Other blogs and sites have penned words about the plight of Real Oviedo, a Spanish soccer club plugging away in the Fourth Division and facing administration (bankruptcy). The team is suffering a serious cash-flow crunch of deathblow proportions. However, where there is risk, there is opportunity. The club has decided to sell shares at about 10 euros per share to all individuals. You can even buy shares via Paypal from another country.

Some sites have referred to the share-sales in terms more befitting a Kickstarter Campaign or a bake sale. I can respect the altruism angle. However, as a coldhearted capitalist, some other stats should wag your tail. First, season ticket-holders number approximately 12,000. Second, the franchise, err business, err “club”, has existed for over 80 years. Third, the club’s old stadium was used by Franco forces during the Spanish Civil War. With Russia, China, and America increasingly at odds, could their renovated stadium become a valuable asset for future American military bases in a post-apocalyptic Cold War/World War III scenario? Possibly.

So there you have it. Dividend stocks are going the way of the Dodo. Blue chip stocks are, like, totally tapped out. Embrace risk. Yes, your Real Oviedo shares may dissipate and lose all value in a haze of liquidation, but wouldn’t that at least be more fun than the 2-3% return on your current portfolio? Plus, foreign shareholders get free tickets to games while in Spain. If they happen, that is. Hurry up, though. You only have until November 19 to buy shares. Get them here.

–M.B.A. Baracus.

PLEASE NOTE: Past performance is no guarantee of future success. None of the assertions in this note should be construed or taken as promises or predictions of future gains.

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