In case you withdrew from the world last week, Eden Hazard stomped on a ball boy during a game. He was duly shown a red card, sent off, and then twitter melted. However, lost in all the “holier than thou op-ed blog posts,” a glimpse of the greatness of humanity filtered through the smog. I speak, of course, of teamwork. Hazard’s gaffe served to catalyze his under-performing teammates into action: they may not properly defender corner kicks, but they united to form a solid wall of blue and defend Eden.
The team unity. The bonds of humanity. It’s a beautiful sight. It’s a warm fuzzy feeling. When asked why they defend Eden, some of his mates had quirky answers. Here are the highlights. Enjoy.
“It’s not like he shot an intern with a beebee gun.” — Ashley Cole
“He’s a rich and petulant prick, but aren’t we all?” — Petr Cech
“He didn’t cost the club 50 million pounds.” — Fernando Torres
“He is not a former coach of Liverpool FC.” — Rafa Benitez
“He has played more than five games for Chelsea in the last three years.” — Paolo Ferreira
“He’s not trying to extort the club for a two year contract when he’s over age 30.” — Frank Lampard
“He is definitely not a racist who would shag the ballboy’s wife. Who I might add is g-o-r-g-e-o-us.” — John Terry
“Yes, I still miss and support Andre Vilas-Boas. I’m sorry, I forgot – what was the question?” — David Luiz
“Not everybody can be Juan Mata.” — Juan Mata