The Defense(s) of Eden Hazard

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In case you withdrew from the world last week, Eden Hazard stomped on a ball boy during a game. He was duly shown a red card, sent off, and then twitter melted. However, lost in all the “holier than thou op-ed blog posts,” a glimpse of the greatness of humanity filtered through the smog. I speak, of course, of teamwork. Hazard’s gaffe served to catalyze his under-performing teammates into action: they may not properly defender corner kicks, but they united to form a solid wall of blue and defend Eden.

The team unity. The bonds of humanity. It’s a beautiful sight. It’s a warm fuzzy feeling. When asked why they defend Eden, some of his mates had quirky answers. Here are the highlights. Enjoy.

“It’s not like he shot an intern with a beebee gun.” — Ashley Cole

“He’s a rich and petulant prick, but aren’t we all?” — Petr Cech

“He didn’t cost the club 50 million pounds.” — Fernando Torres

“He is not a former coach of Liverpool FC.” — Rafa Benitez

“He has played more than five games for Chelsea in the last three years.” — Paolo Ferreira

“He’s not trying to extort the club for a two year contract when he’s over age 30.” — Frank Lampard

“He is definitely not a racist who would shag the ballboy’s wife. Who I might add is g-o-r-g-e-o-us.” — John Terry

“Yes, I still miss and support Andre Vilas-Boas. I’m sorry, I forgot – what was the question?” — David Luiz

“Not everybody can be Juan Mata.” — Juan Mata

One thought on “The Defense(s) of Eden Hazard

  1. He only kick the ball. I strongly and boldly ask PFA to charge the swansea club and leave innocent boy Eden Hazard alone. He did a good thing.