The Top Ten Transfers Real Madrid Could Have Made with the Bale Money

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Real Madrid has finally purchased Gareth Bale for a world record 100 million euros. Of course, to finance the deal they had to sell fan favorite Mesut Ozil to Arsenal for 42 million euros. Thus, at Bale’s presentation, more than a few Real Madrid fans whistled in disapproval. Of course, this colossal sum for a goalscoring winger with a wicked burst of pace is similar to the CRon deal, but also reminds me of some other past deals.

Looking at past Galacticos (and some non-Galacticos) and with cynical madrileno fans in mind, I’ve concocted a list of other transfers/deals we could have done with that money.

10) Real Madrid loaned Julian Faubert in 2009 for 1.5 million pounds. He made two appearances and once missed training because he thought he had the day off. With the Bale money, we could loan ALMOST ONE HUNDRED FAUBERTS!!!!

9) Real Madrid bought Jonathan Woodgate for 13.4 million pounds. Thus, they could have bought almost nine Woodgates for the Bale money. That adds up to roughly half a functioning meniscus.

8) Real Madrid bought Thomas Gravesen for 2.5 million pounds from Everton. Gravesen was in and out of the Real Madrid lineup, which is better than some other players plucked from the EPL. He also had a very shiny bald head. Real Madrid could have bought over forty Gravesens for the Bale money. Imagine the toll on Robiho’s knees after a single training session!

7) Real Madrid is a huge soccer club, but their transfers pale when compared to the gross domestic product of even the smallest nations in the world. However, the Bale money, 100 million euros, is still bigger than the GDP of the Republic of Nauru, an island country in Micronesia. We could have Bale….or a country. Rumor has it that Real Madrid is looking into creative real estate deals to work around Financial Fair Play. TRANSFER BUZZ ALERT!!!

6) In 2004, Real Madrid bought forward Michael Owen for 8 million pounds. Any Englishman with half a spine will whine about how great his goal-to-minutes ratio was. To his credit, he scored 18 goals in 41 games. However, he was stuck on the bench behind future Real Madrid legend Raul Gonzalez. For the Bale money, we could have gotten almost 16 English strikers. Imagine how nice and warm the bench would be with all those British buns!

5) Everybody knew that Real Madrid would have to spend big to pry Cristiano Ronaldo away from Real Madrid. What nobody counted on at the time was how much Madrid would spend to also sign AC Milan midfielder Ricardo Kaka. He cost the club sixty-five million euros, failed to make 20 plus league appearances in 2 of his 4 seasons, and was recently sold for a whopping….zero dollars. With the Bale money, we could have bought almost two Kakas – but would that add up to 20 plus league starts in a single season?

Or just a bunch of tweeting at pre-tweens while rehabbing in Brazil?

4) This wound is fresh, but I couldn’t resist. Real Madrid recently sold Mesut Ozil for 42 million euros. We bought Bale for 100 million euros. Thus, the valuation of Ozil is that Bale is worth about 2.5 Ozils. Bale had an amazing goal tally last season for Spurs, but if you look at his other seasons….the goal tallies are remarkably single digit and comparable to Ozil. Let’s hope last season was the new standard, not an anomaly….

3) In 2002, Real Madrid bought the Brazilian Ronaldo for 46 million euros, roughly the same as we got for selling Ozil. Ronaldo had some weight and health issues, but still was electric on the ball. He had two twenty-plus goal seasons and his hattrick at Old Trafford is one of the great performance by a forward for all time.

Would you rather have Bale or two and a half (somewhat fit) Ronaldos? The choice is difficult, no?

2) In 2006, Real Madrid bought Brazilian starlet Robinho from Santos for 24 million euros. Fans are divided on his time at the club. On the one hand, he scored plenty of goals for a winger and the team won two La Liga titles. On the other hand, he was often injured and suffered from a roller coaster of form. Some games he’d dominate, other games he’d disappear. Regardless, his sombrero-filled debut will be one of my favorite Real Madrid memories forever.

I would rather have four Robinhos that one Gareth Bale.

1) When Real Madrid paid Juventus 75 millions euros for Zinedine Zidane, he had already won a World Cup and European Championship with France. He’d also dominated the Serie A. Everyone concludes that it was money well spent, especially after his amazing goal in the 2002 Champions League final.

Thus, it should come as no surprise that I would use the Bale money to buy Zizou and then willingly burn the leftover 25 million euros. Bale will probably be a great goalscoring winger to complement CRon, but few players will ever pull the strings form midfield or win like Zizou.

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