Selflessness. Civility. Respect for others. These are the foundations of any civilized society. Yet one player flaunts this code. He brazenly disregards societal norms. Instead of sharing the football, he shoots it. Instead of humbly apologizing to opponents for ruining their day and perhaps harming their net, he celebrates.
This monster, of course, is selfish Englishman Daniel Sturridge.
1) Daniel Sturridge selfishly directs opposing players to “talk to the palm” after scoring a goal rather than passing to an open teammate
2) Sturridge selfishly points to a visiting member of his family rather than high fiving Jordan Henderson
3) Sturridge selfishly high fives Jordan Henderson rather than pointing to a member of his family in the stands
4) Sturridge selfishly high fives Coutinho rather than high fiving Henderson
5) Sturridge selfishly hugs Luis Suarez rather than high fiving Jordan Henderson or Coutinho
6) Sturridge selfishly has Suarez jump on his back rather than paying for a proper chiropractor despite earning thousands of pounds per week
7) Sturridge selfishly has Suarez do his hair rather than paying for a proper stylist despite earning thousands of pounds per week
8- Sturridge selfishly high fives his coach rather than high fiving Jordan Henderson or Coutinho or hugging Luis Suarez
9) Sturridge selfishly hugs his coach rather than high fiving Jordan Henderson or Coutinho or hugging Luis Suarez
10) Sturridge selfishly runs from teammates, expecting them to chase him down to hug him just for being so selfish
11) Sturridge selfishly looks upwards rather than at any of his teammate who he recently opted not to pass to
12) Sturridge selfishly high fives Gerrard rather than high fiving his coach, Jordan Henderson, Coutinho, or pointing at a family member in the stands
13) Sturridge selfishly commands his teammates to pile on top of him, thus reducing the chances of contracting skin cancer from exposure to sunlight
14) Sturridge selfishly imitates our Lord and Savior to the disgust of all good Christian folk
15) Sturridge selfishly dances the “electric arms” without paying the licensing fee to the proper copyright holder
16) Sturridge again selfishly dances the “electric arms” without paying the licensing fee to the proper copyright holder
17) Sturridge selfishly smiles as he dances the “electric arms” without paying the licensing fee to the proper copyright holder
18- Sturridge again selfishly trots about, expecting his teammates to catch up with him and hug him
19) Sturridge is so selfish he can’t even muster a proper goal celebration for the fans. He just rests his hands on his hips.
20) Sturridge gets on his knees to beg for forgiveness for his selfish ways, but it’s too late.