Many people don’t know this, but in addition to his role as a medieval siege weapon, Jozy Altidore is actually a professional, international footballer. It has even been rumored that Altidore has not yet worked this out himself, however the facts do not lie: Jozy Altidore has played in 67 games for the USMNTurtles. Rumor has it that he is even paid a weekly wage by BPL team, Sunderland Black Cats United.
However, since retiring from his job as a heavy blunt object, Altidore has struggled in his new role of professional footballer. In particular he needs to work on his first touch, so we have compiled a list of seven things Jozy can use as inspiration for improvement in this area :
5) Police Taser (set to 50,000 watts)