The Really Not So Super League

Everybody has a million-and-one-ways to improve MLS. Many of these proposals can be reduced to the film Field of Dreams as envisioned by Scrooge McDuck: if you spend money on wages and transfers, more and better players will come. Well no shit. This past winter, MLS’ financial reticence was magnified by the number of deals done between European clubs and the Chinese Super League.

Allegedly thanks to state support via a new and overly generous TV deal, the CSL is awash in cash and clubs spent tens of millions to sign kinda-sorta-decent players like Ramires and Jackson Martinez and even Alex Teixeira. But is everything as it seems? Continue reading “The Really Not So Super League” »

A Protective Guide to Streaming Sports Sites

Disclaimer: you should never ever illegally stream a sports event, unless a hooligan holds a gun to your head, puts a laptop in front of you, and says “find me United-Chelsea on Rojadirecta OR ELSE”. Okay, now that I’m no longer liable for what I’m about to write, I will write what I’m about to write.

I’m not going to morally justify piracy. If you are an internet pirate, then you are wrong. If I could spank you, I would, but I can’t, so I won’t. However, like that disingenuous abstinence-only conversation with a hormonal adolescent, I at least want you to protect yourself. Hence this post. Continue reading “A Protective Guide to Streaming Sports Sites” »

The Juiciest Nuggets from the Brand Spanking New USWNT Lawsuit

It’s sad when people don’t get along. US Soccer preemptively sued the USWNT. Sigh. Why? Because of this question: does a Memorandum of Understanding they’ve been using since 2013 count as a CBA? As background, USWNT changed the lawfirm that represents them, and the new attorney in town would like to tear up the MOU and negotiate more generous bonuses with the Rio Olympics in mind (probably). US soccer is pissed.

I don’t care to cast judgment on either parties. Those who want more greenbacks to stack shall seek them. Those already in possession of a stack shall fight to keep them. I do, though, realize you don’t have time (or the patience) to read a 200 plus page complaint. Thus, I present the highlights. Continue reading “The Juiciest Nuggets from the Brand Spanking New USWNT Lawsuit” »

Manchester United Comfortably Beats a Decent Team

No, your eyes do not deceive you. Yesterday, Manchester United played at Old Trafford and went head-to-head with the Pep Guardiola castaway player reclamation project aka Barney Ronay’s beautiful dark twisted fantasy aka Stoke City. Manchester United score goals and won.

This surprised many. Continue reading “Manchester United Comfortably Beats a Decent Team” »

Avant Garde Premier League Transfer Day (Not) Live Blog of Associations

Transfer. But what would it even look like, you ask? Trans fur, in my estimation, would be just like any other fur, of equal value to society as non-trans fur, and would not invite your queries into said fur’s past history and does not appreciate your biologically deterministic conflation of gender and sex. I also don’t appreciate any of the un-kind words you’ve said recently about trans fat. Continue reading “Avant Garde Premier League Transfer Day (Not) Live Blog of Associations” »

The Midseason Manager Replacement

We all saw the end for Jose Mourinho at Chelsea and even suspected Rafa’s demise at Madrid. The Blues’ form was so poor that they hovered near the relegation zone. They lacked solidity in defense and decisiveness in attack. Meanwhile, at Madrid, the merengues played decently enough, but always seemed to trip over their own two feet when approaching the Barca juggernaut.

Yet, the question remains, do midseason manager changes ever make sense? Or turn out for the better? And what would it do for Manchester United? Continue reading “The Midseason Manager Replacement” »

Q & A: Silky Johnson Explains Why Every Player You Ever Loved In Fact Sucks

Every now and then, we at Futfanatico land a huge interview about futbol with an unexpected celebrity. Once we got Slavoj Zizek to predict a World Cup final. Another time, Jean Baudrillard turned his piercing gaze to American celebrity fans of Arsenal. While Rolling Stone barely nicked us to that Chapo interview, we are delighted to welcome Silky Johnson, the greatest hater in the history of hating.

Silky, a professional hater who makes your ex’s bae look like a bubbling cauldron of optimism, will now brutally and flippantly degrade every player you have ever adored. Continue reading “Q & A: Silky Johnson Explains Why Every Player You Ever Loved In Fact Sucks” »

Liverpool FC: More than a Committee of Issues

I’m a big fan of Guardian columnist Barney Ronay. Yes, his last names sounds uncomfortably similar to Rooney, but nobody’s perfect. Still, his most recent column on Liverpool FC with the angle that “committee results in incoherent plan and bad signings” struck me as a bit off the mark. In sum, two much bigger picture issues cloud the horizon for the Scousers. Continue reading “Liverpool FC: More than a Committee of Issues” »

Leicester City and the Little Things

This past week, I watched Leicester City play soccer. I had read and heard quite a bit about them. They are successful at football. Despite barely avoiding relegation and not re-signing Esteban Cambiasso, they’d led the league at various times this past season. People say the new EPL TV deal means smaller clubs can now offer big wages to keep their established EPL stars, messing up the established hierarchy.

So I saw them play Aston Villa to a 1:1 draw. And what stuck out to me were the two posts of Leicester’s own goal. Continue reading “Leicester City and the Little Things” »

The Annual Winter Dip in Production

Hello, readers. I know that about half of you live in the Southern hemisphere and are enjoying a warm summer. A good chunk of you do not practice a Judaeo-Christian religion. Many also use the lunar calendar instead of the Gregorian. Sadly for you, this website is and always will be a xenophobic and American hotbed of hatred.

Yes, I am taking a few weeks off to enjoy the winter, travel to see family, and celebrate Jesus’ birthday (and El Dia de los Reyes Magos). Continue reading “The Annual Winter Dip in Production” »