The Key to Successfully Coaching in Europe

Quite a few American players have enjoyed modest success in Europe. However, no American coach has yet to coach a first division team in one of Europe’s top leagues. Serie A? No. Bundesliga? Nein. La Liga? Nunca. Thus, we have to ask: what do American coaches lack? Mastery of tactics? Man-management? Opportunity?

All the above may be true. But, after years of careful study, I’ve found another explanation. Continue reading “The Key to Successfully Coaching in Europe” »

Mow – Ring – Yo?!?!?!

Jose has hit his first soft patch as coach at United. Of course, this means he’s incompetent and should be sacked tomorrow. Or, at least, he feels that’s what we the media are suggesting. Thus far, his pressers have been tame by Jose standards, but, as per usual, he has blamed his players (though reservedly so), the referee(s), and the prior coach. Basically, everybody but himself.

And yet this is what you get when Mou comes to town. As a Real Madrid fan, I know this too well. Continue reading “Mow – Ring – Yo?!?!?!” »

The Rapinoe Debate is Not Even a Debate

There is a saying in Spanish: Dime con quien andas, diras quien eres. “Tell me who you are with, and you will tell me who you are.” As you are aware, lots of athletes are protesting racial discrimination by doing various things during the national anthem. Some raise their first. Some kneel. These are silent protests that do not impede the ability of any person to go about their daily lives: nobody is running to the streets, flipping cop cars, or setting stores on fire.

Yet, people are upset. At a recent USWNT game, star player Megan Rapinoe kneeled in solidarity with people of color and other protestors. Continue reading “The Rapinoe Debate is Not Even a Debate” »

Edson Cavani and Greatness by Contrast

What do you think about Uruguayan striker Edson Cavani? Yeah, I have no clue either. In general, we soccer fans like our greatness as our oatmeal: consistent throughout. Cavani, though, is perhaps the least consistent consistently great striker in Europe. He’s scored goals by the boatloads for his club teams in Italy and France, and also a few big ones for Uruguay.

Still, one can’t get over a sinking sensation when you watch him play: does this guy know what he’s doing? Continue reading “Edson Cavani and Greatness by Contrast” »

The Absolutely Essential Manchester Derby Recap…

…Is so not happening at this site. I know you have loved your Pep on X player features, your Pep vs. Mou columns, and your contrarian “media overblows Y aspect of derby” takes. Still, I shall indulge you. Here is a brief summary of the Manchester derby: two teams from Manchester played soccer. They both fielded eleven players and kicked a ball for a combined ninety minutes plus change.

There. Now, onto important matters: Chicharito and Messi. And what they have in common. Continue reading “The Absolutely Essential Manchester Derby Recap…” »

The Best Last Names in the EPL

What’s in a name? Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet, as Shakespeare asked? Maybe. But maybe not. Names and words and language are important. They give structure to our thoughts, dreams, hopes, and values. When you learn to speak a second language and start to dream in it, you can float about and feel emancipated. A whole new world opens up for you.

Which is why I wrote this post about last names. Because they matter. And there are some amazing ones in the EPL. Continue reading “The Best Last Names in the EPL” »

What does your pathological dislike of Jurgen Klinsmann say about you?

Hating Jurgen Klinsmann is so common, it’s passe. A GenXer columnist would write “it’s jumped the shark” and millenials would mock that columnist just for writing that trite expression. Even fedora-wearing creative types in Williamsburg have gotten over the Jurgen hate. Still, your hate fascinates me for different reasons: not because it is novel, or even very logical – it’s not. Rather, all hatred comes in different shapes and sizes, flavors and forms. And, simply put, I love variety (and haters).

Thus, I have used painstaking, peer-reviewed research (NOOOT) to create a guide to US fans based on how/why they hate Jurgen. Continue reading “What does your pathological dislike of Jurgen Klinsmann say about you?” »

Gawking About

As a blogger born and bred in the roaring 2000′s, I owe a tremendous debt to Gawker Dot Com. No, not in the dollars and cents sense. Rather, in a tailwind sense. Gawker Dot Com, for me, will always stand for two principles: (1) Cynical, at times caustic, observation and (2) Fearless journalism.

What’s so remarkable about Gawker is how neither of those principles is either new or revolutionary. Allow me to elucidate. Continue reading “Gawking About” »

Some Quick Soccer Lynx

Friends, countrymen, countrywomen, and elders – I know this summer has been a rough one. The summer tournaments came fast and hard. The Pogba transfer captured all our hearts and imagination. We crossed our fingers, held our collective breath, and dared to ask: why would anyone kidnap the Lindberg baby? Why haven’t they found Amelia Earheart yet? And why on Earth does it now cost a whole dime to ride the doodlebug into town?

Rest assured, fans of my writing, I have not been idle: rather I have been lurking, scheming, plotting, idling. Well, not the last one. Maybe a little bit. Still I have found some time to create content, so enjoy it. Continue reading “Some Quick Soccer Lynx” »

Posted in MLS