Nick Dunmore of the excellent Fisted Away has ever so graciously contributed a guest satirical piece on that lover of long-range goals, Frank Lampard. Enjoy!

Love was in the air in SW6. It smelt the same as usual – it had the familiar pungency, but tonight it was mixed with something new. Something unmistakably West London; stale onions frying, sweating police horses and overheated coffee, all combined in one bri-nylon shirt. The miasma skulked up from Fulham Broadway, took a left onto the Fulham Road, and floated deep down under the Shed End. There, in the bowels of Stamford Bridge, and also the bowels of Frank Lampard – for these are one and the same – there was an unearthly rumbling. Continue reading “Frank Finally Gets to Third Base with Badge” »