For a sought after manager paid millions per year, Jose Mourinho has a bad rap. In sum: many think he’s a shortsighted taskmaster. They point to Inter Milan’s fall from grace as proof that, despite a treble-winning season, he ran the team into the ground. Some claim he picks a Starting XI, will make good subs, but rails to properly rotate and blood young talent. Of course, another interpretation is that Mou at Inter got the best out of a veteran squad even if his signings (Mancini, Quaresma?) did not blossom. His Chelsea squad also won the EPL title, UEFA Cup and Champions League after he left.
Let’s look closer at Mou and, with this knowledge, reflect upon Real’s current travails. Continue reading “The Dreaded Post-Jose Mourinho Hangover” »
You follow the news. You know that somebody took a picture of Jack Wilshere holding a cigarette outside a nightclub. I won’t bore you with the trite “Athletes are role models/I like to watch cocky, irresponsible assholes” debate. We lampooned it before. Rather, another angle to the Wilshere story caught my eye.
In response to Wenger’s criticisms, Jack Wilshere’s representative claimed that he was holding the cigarette as part of a prank and did not in fact smoke. Presumably, his representative said this because Jack couldn’t say such bs with a straight-face during a presser. Aside from being a lie, this excuse tramples over the intellectual property of former US President Bill Clinton, who famously “put a joint to this lips but didn’t inhale.”
Yawn. Here are some much better excuses Wilshere’s rep could have cooked up. Continue reading “Arsenal Player Jack Wilshere Steals Page from Bill Clinton Playbook” »
Puns make the world go ’round. Or at least fill the front pages of the British sports dailies. Still, puns often come to as in very ad hoc fashion – to date, no scientific categorization or organization of puns, at least in football matters, has been completed or even attempted. As the self-appointed guardian of universal knowledge, I aim to rectify this deficiency.
With a mad assist to the excellent Fisted Away, I now present a breathtaking analysis of puns involving England’s goaltender Joe Hart. Continue reading “The Obligatory Joe Hart Error Post In Which I Exhaust Every Conceivble Pun Involving His Last Name” »
Real Madrid has finally purchased Gareth Bale for a world record 100 million euros. Of course, to finance the deal they had to sell fan favorite Mesut Ozil to Arsenal for 42 million euros. Thus, at Bale’s presentation, more than a few Real Madrid fans whistled in disapproval. Of course, this colossal sum for a goalscoring winger with a wicked burst of pace is similar to the CRon deal, but also reminds me of some other past deals.
Looking at past Galacticos (and some non-Galacticos) and with cynical madrileno fans in mind, I’ve concocted a list of other transfers/deals we could have done with that money. Continue reading “The Top Ten Transfers Real Madrid Could Have Made with the Bale Money” »
UEFA is a big deal. They organize a somewhat well-known club competition and even a few national team tournaments from time to time. A few years ago, I blogged about my soccer playing toddler. The premise was simple: he would someday star for Real Madrid. I created and uploaded to YouTube a nifty video of his highlights interspersed with highlights of slightly more well known Real Madrid players.
The video was live for a glorious two weeks before the copyright trolls came knocking…. Continue reading “UEFA Cowers Before Might of Amateur Soccer Blogger” »
Real Madrid has basically kept the same roster from last year. Yes, Higuain has left. We will miss Pipita. However, the bigger movement happened on the sideline. Madrid pried Carlo Ancelotti from PSG. Thus, the story of this season is this: can the Italian coach get the best out of a still strong nucleus of talent? Can Real Madrid balance a fight against Barca in La Liga with the grueling demands of search for the Decima?
Some folks point to stats to make predictions. Others like to wax tactics. Here at Futfanatico, we prefer superstition, correlations, and random observations. Thus, our season preview of Real Madrid revolves entirely around explaining and deciphering the various eyebrow gestures of Carlo Ancelotti. Enjoy. Continue reading “The Real Madrid Season Preview as Represented by the Shifting Eyebrows of Carlo Ancelotti” »
The rivalry between Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund is not so much equals staring one another down, but rather big brother-little brother. Munich is the unquestionable King of German soccer, while Dortrmund has lead a bit of an insurrection in recent years. This season, Bayern reclaimed the bundesliga crown and knocked out Dortmund in the German Cup, but found themselves in the Champions League semifinals across brackets.
And then, by chance, somehow the press leaked that Munich would be signing one of Dortmund’s star players, Mario Gotze, this summer. Whoops. This season, Bayern’s President, Uli Hoeness, has also reminded the world that nine years ago the club gave Dortmund an interest-free loan to make payroll for a few months. Dick? Quite.
Thus, on the cusp of the Champions League final, as these two clubs face one another, we can only imagine what petty fact Bayern will reveal that involves Dortmund. Actually, perhaps “speculate” is the more accurate term. Here’s my best shot. Continue reading “The Top Ten Dickest Things Bayern Munich Could Publicly Leak Right Before the Champions League Final” »
For English-speakers, the headline is “Whose fault is it that Mou left?” If I have to explain to you why this is ironic, you should not be reading this site. Go watch cat videos on YouTube.
Another year, another disappointment. No decima. No dice. Madrid fought the good fight in the King’s Cup, conceded La Liga way early, and fell in the semifinals of the Champions League. Despite some fun wins at the Camp Nou, even Jose Mourinho has admitted this is his worst season ever.
Many Madrid faithful find their spirits down. However, a few optimists repeat over and over some well-scripted speaking points to feel better. Or at least sound like they feel better. Here are a few: Continue reading “Real Disappointment – What Madrid Fans Are Saying To Themselves” »
Don’t you hate it when your favorite blogger hops and skips about and blogs at sites other than his own blog domain? You have to, like, click on links and go to other sites. It’s quite inconvenient. Well, alas, prepare yourself. I have put finger to touchscreen for a few other fine sites. Here they are: Continue reading “OWN GOALS – Some Delightful Soccer Links to Lighten Your Day” »