Kane and Able?

Hello, friends. Earlier today I had some fun on Twitter. Jason Davis aka “The Soccer Eagle” (El Soccer Aguila for our friends who speak Spanish) announced that he was adopting Spurs as his EPL club for the season. I chimed in that Harry Kane scored most of his goals off crosses and was not a particularly amazing dribbler.

And then came the waves of Spurs tweets. Continue reading “Kane and Able?” »

The Next Nino Torres

Nothing plagues the sports world like the “next” label. In chess, every talented American player is the next Bobby Fischer. In soccer, Neymar is the “next Pele” and Messi is the “next Maradona.” Fans cling to nationalities as predictors of success and prototypical molds.

Which is why EPL clubs continue to sign Spanish strikers. Continue reading “The Next Nino Torres” »

The Necessity of Genius

I wrote about Antonio Conte a few months back. Basically, his courage in benching underperforming players and introducing a new tactical system impressed me. Then, The Guardian ran a profile of him with an interview from an assistant. The details divulged kinda ruined my enchantment, to be honest. And some things made more sense.

First, he seems like a task master. LVG style, he stops training session games to talk with players and tell them where to stand. Secondly, his training sessions go on and on and on. That’s pretty Mou style. While I think Conte should lead Chelsea to a title this year, is he just benefiting from no European soccer (ala Leicester last year) and will he burn out his Starting XI ala Mourinho’s last time at Chelsea? Continue reading “The Necessity of Genius” »

Counting on Conte

One of the best parts about sports is that, within a certain frame of assumptions, we can enjoy a heavy dose of unpredictability. Last season, nobody, not even a super computer with all the world’s knowledge and really really nice spreadsheet tech with dope algorithms could have predicted Leicester’s title.

This season, the EPL has returned to the same old contenders, but I’m still blown away by how Chelsea has turned things around. Continue reading “Counting on Conte” »

The Curse of the Faux Bun

Baseball used to have all the good curses. For decades, Cubs and Red Sox fans wallowed in misery, shaking their fists at phantoms and decrying the lack of a championship. And that’s not even mentioning the legend of Shoeless Joe Jackson whom, if I recall correctly, was decapitated and rode around on a horse (but sans a shoe on his left foot).

Luckily, as baseball has gone metric system and stats, soccer still has a few tales of wonder and hexes. I speak, of course, of the “Faux Bun.” Continue reading “The Curse of the Faux Bun” »

Manchester United Celebrate Europa League Campaign by Announcing First Ever Stool Softener Sponsorship!

Released: 11/3/2016

  • Ten-year global partnership
  • Soft-As-Warm-Porridge stool softeners to be used at Aon Training Complex.

MANCHESTER, England — (BUSINESS WIRE) — Manchester United (NYSE: MANU) is proud to announce a partnership with SAWP. The agreement heralds United’s first ever Official Stool Softener Partner. Continue reading “Manchester United Celebrate Europa League Campaign by Announcing First Ever Stool Softener Sponsorship!” »

The Case for Kamara

In case you missed the so-called “Decision Day” of MLS games this past weekend, a player named Kei Kamara scored a goal. All agree twas a nice goal of the finest variety, one worthy of celebration. Of course, players have shown emotion and excitement after the scoring of a goal for time eternal. And since Roger Milla danced for Cameroon in the World Cup, the rhythmic movement of one’s body has long been part and parcel of said celebrations.

Yet Kei Kamara got wrongly punished. Continue reading “The Case for Kamara” »

The Best Soccer Narratives I Could Possibly Fathom Not Hearing Ever Again

Yesterday, Jose Mourinho’s Manchester United played Liverpool in Liverpool. The game ended in a 0-0 draw. Of course, some nil nil draws can be exciting games, pulsating affairs that draw deserved “oohs” and “aahs” from the crowd. This was not one of them. Over 90 minutes, Liverpool created two chances: a quick snapshot that David DeGea palmed away to the right, and speculative curler from distance that DeGea palmed away to his left.

In between, a lot of nothing happened. Continue reading “The Best Soccer Narratives I Could Possibly Fathom Not Hearing Ever Again” »