Manchester United Comfortably Beats a Decent Team

No, your eyes do not deceive you. Yesterday, Manchester United played at Old Trafford and went head-to-head with the Pep Guardiola castaway player reclamation project aka Barney Ronay’s beautiful dark twisted fantasy aka Stoke City. Manchester United score goals and won.

This surprised many. Continue reading “Manchester United Comfortably Beats a Decent Team” »

Avant Garde Premier League Transfer Day (Not) Live Blog of Associations

Transfer. But what would it even look like, you ask? Trans fur, in my estimation, would be just like any other fur, of equal value to society as non-trans fur, and would not invite your queries into said fur’s past history and does not appreciate your biologically deterministic conflation of gender and sex. I also don’t appreciate any of the un-kind words you’ve said recently about trans fat. Continue reading “Avant Garde Premier League Transfer Day (Not) Live Blog of Associations” »

Liverpool FC: More than a Committee of Issues

I’m a big fan of Guardian columnist Barney Ronay. Yes, his last names sounds uncomfortably similar to Rooney, but nobody’s perfect. Still, his most recent column on Liverpool FC with the angle that “committee results in incoherent plan and bad signings” struck me as a bit off the mark. In sum, two much bigger picture issues cloud the horizon for the Scousers. Continue reading “Liverpool FC: More than a Committee of Issues” »

Leicester City and the Little Things

This past week, I watched Leicester City play soccer. I had read and heard quite a bit about them. They are successful at football. Despite barely avoiding relegation and not re-signing Esteban Cambiasso, they’d led the league at various times this past season. People say the new EPL TV deal means smaller clubs can now offer big wages to keep their established EPL stars, messing up the established hierarchy.

So I saw them play Aston Villa to a 1:1 draw. And what stuck out to me were the two posts of Leicester’s own goal. Continue reading “Leicester City and the Little Things” »

The Sadness and Darkness of Entropy, or “The Inevitable Decline of Fernando Torres & Falcao”

This may shock you, but, for a time, Fernando Torres played soccer exceptionally well. Even before he signed for Liverpool FC and rocked the back of nets in England, he scored some absolute screamers as a youth for Atletico de Madrid and became known as Barcelona’s bogeyman. He became a Champion of Europe with Spain in 2008 and then won a World Cup. However, on a cold winter’s day in January of 2011, Liverpool sold him for a fortune for Chelsky.

And he’s never been the same. Continue reading “The Sadness and Darkness of Entropy, or “The Inevitable Decline of Fernando Torres & Falcao”” »

Who’s to BLAME for the lack of Rooney Rule in the EPL?

The Guardian has reported that the Premier League has refused to adopt even a voluntary version of the NFL’s so-called “Rooney Rule”, whereby at least one minority candidate must be interviewed for every open coaching position. This is sad because talented and smart guys like Clarence Seedorf often get overlooked or pushed out the door too early to make way for the Pippo Inzaghis of the world.

One thing that also bugs me about this non-decision, though, is the circular justification. But I’m also annoyed by a certain acronym used in this debate. Continue reading “Who’s to BLAME for the lack of Rooney Rule in the EPL?” »

My Article on Arsene Wenger From Last Thursday

Editor’s note: technical difficulties meant we could not post this article last Thursday as planned. Luckily, nothing since then has changed as all sports writing focuses on eternal Platonic truths, not the passing whims of fans based on a single result.

I am a fan of Manchester United, but have always respected Arsenal. And not just because of all the celebrity fans. Rather, Arsene Wenger has prudently managed the team’s finances and won some silverware over his 20 year (almost) reign. Talent recognizes and respects talent. Wenger has oozed class and brilliance for years. Yes, the Invincibles’ season seems like an eternity ago, but you don’t just qualify for the Champions League year after year by magic. Or at least that’s what I thought from the outside looking in.

All that changed on Wednesday when Arsenal lost to Olympiakos. Continue reading “My Article on Arsene Wenger From Last Thursday” »

Scorched Earth “Hot Takes” Worthy of Diego Costa

Diego Costa. You hate him. You love him. You love him because some hate him. You hate him because others love him. He’s basically taken the mantle of “abrasive striker” left vacant by Luis Suarez at Liverpool. He scores goals, but is a colossal prick. You would not enjoy playing a game of soccer against him, unless of course you’re into the whole mosh-pit-meets-UFC thing.

Words have been written about Costa. Takes of various degrees of heat, some tepid, some lukewarm, others toasty, have made rounds around the internet. Yet if an image says a thousand words, then a GIF says about 5-10,000 words because it’s about 5-10 images. Thus, enjoy this long-form return to Listicle GIF form. Continue reading “Scorched Earth “Hot Takes” Worthy of Diego Costa” »