Category Archives: EPL

The Recent Highs & Lows of Manchester United fandom

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For the last decade, the greatest benefit to being a Manchester United fan has been the license to perpetually wear a smug grin of satisfaction. Liverpool only qualified for the UEFA league again? Poor King Kenny. At least Andy Carroll has curbed his drinking problem and keeps the bench nice & warm during winter. Arsenal struggling to start the season? Well, at least they’ll get a cash injection from Barcelona in the transfer window. Lately, though, the tides have turned.

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OWN GOALS – the accursed, huggable, imperalist Americans

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Don’t you just hate those arrogant, talented, supremely handsome Americans? Me too. Well, this American had the pleasure of writing for and speaking with some friends from across the Atlantic, and the results were marvelous. At least in my humble imperialist American opinion. Continue reading “OWN GOALS – the accursed, huggable, imperalist Americans” »

Frank Lampard: the Diary of an Old Midfielder

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EDITOR’S NOTE

We at the Frank-Lampard Appreciation Society knew that releasing his diary, the uncut version a, would ruffle some feathers. Nevertheless, we remain firmly committed to shedding light on the player’s life, thoughts, and ruminations during this darkest of winters at the twilight of his career. This historical document will continue to be released, unedited, for the sake of the world’s heritage.

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The John Terry Moralistic Editorial Files, Chapter 1435867205

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John Terry has outdone himself, even by his own pathetically low standards. We have a saying in America: three strikes and you’re out. Well, John Terry first shagged teammate Wayne Bridge’s significant other a few years ago. Strike one. This past weekend, he allegedly uttered a racist comment at Anton Ferdinand. Strike two. And strike three, you ask? It takes the cake. It shocks the conscience. After all, his earlier indiscretions have some semblance of an explanation. Everybody can understand that in training, sometimes things get heated and players need to cool off with an other-wife-shag. Everybody can understand that in a game, sometimes things get heated and players exchange racial epithets. That’s just the way things are.

But strike three has no similar excuse. John Terry gave his solemn word to attend a pet shop opening in Surbiton. And what happened in Surbiton? Hundreds of kids had their heart broken. Why? Cold-blooded John Terry didn’t show up. Continue reading “The John Terry Moralistic Editorial Files, Chapter 1435867205” »

Presenting Extreme Makeover English Youth Academy Edition!

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Hello and welcome to your favorite new television program – EMEYAE (Extreme Makeover English Youth Academy Edition)! We are so excited to see you! Basically, after the new EPPP guidelines were passed, a lot of people got angry. Local communities felt threatened that the free movement of individual youth labor would leave them devastated. However, the brilliance of network Television offers a silver bullet and all kinds of odd sounds called a “laugh track.” Continue reading “Presenting Extreme Makeover English Youth Academy Edition!” »

The Manchester Derby & a Heavy Dose of Trite Sportswriting

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Manchester City beat Manchester United at Old Trafford by 6-1. The win was deserved, even if a late deluge of goals made the scoreline slightly more embarrassing than warranted. Still, bloodbaths of this magnitude tend to fray the senses, melt the mind, and sportswriters revert to a Neanderthal mental state. Here is what they will have written Monday morning. Continue reading “The Manchester Derby & a Heavy Dose of Trite Sportswriting” »

OWN GOALS – the Futfanatico eBook & some entertaining links

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After much deliberation and feedback, the soccer eBook is now available in a DRM-less ePub format at Goodreads. Right here. What does that mean? Well, for those folks who do not have a Kindle or Nook, you can now purchase the book for $5.99 to then download and read on pretty much any other device. If you rock the open source Calibre, you can read it. If you use Adobe Digital Editions, you’re also included. And, of course, you can simply use the Goodreads eBook reader by simply signing up.

Speaking of the eBook, Robert of theTwoUnfortunates wrote a positive review that you can check out here. Terry Duffelen, blogger, podder & Socrates co-founder, also had some kind words to say about the eBook at Goodreads. And thus far the ratings have been squarely in the 4-5 range. Not too shabby. I’m still riding on a wave of confidence and my Vampire-High school-Law firm legal thriller/comedy series will be available from Doubleday in May of 2013.

But seriously, I promise to stop proudly boasting about the eBook until at least the new year. Scout’s honor. Books are like kids – once you have more than one, they all start to look the same & you eventually forget their names. Now, the links. Continue reading “OWN GOALS – the Futfanatico eBook & some entertaining links” »