Some Quick Tips for Soccer Stadium Etiquette

After decades of darkness, soccer has grabbed a solid foothold in the US. In recent times, more and more fans have grown enamored of the beautiful game. However, many have only seen the game on TV. They have questions about what to do and what not to do when going to games. Some harbor preconceived stereotypes and prejudices. Some are just worry-warts.

Luckily, as a fan who has seen games on four different continents, I’ve got two very easy rules to follow. Continue reading “Some Quick Tips for Soccer Stadium Etiquette” »

I think, therefore I Playstation – Andrea Pirlo’s Unauthorized Gamer Diary

If you haven’t read Andrea Pirlo’s excellent biography, you must do so. Right now. As Michael Cox pointed out in a review, “footballers’ autobiographies are rarely interesting.” (Except for Zlat) However, Pirlo has released a pearl of a book. I usually skim footballer biographies looking for potshots, but Pirlo’s candor and detail drew me in. Mad credit to Pirlo for being Pirlo, and the ghost/co-writer Alessandro Alciato, and translator Mark Palmer.

However, there is one major flaw in this book: they excised the detailed entries related to his epic PS2 FIFA battles with Alessandro Nesta. Luckily, I used all of my colossal weight in the eBook and soccer writing sphere to get my hands on said excerpts. And here they are, for your reading pleasure. Continue reading “I think, therefore I Playstation – Andrea Pirlo’s Unauthorized Gamer Diary” »

The Season Also Starts

PART I

Bobby Kohn was a champion darts player. You wouldn’t know it, even if you asked him. The crowning achievement of his life was an Ivy League degree that collected dust in a box in his parent’s basement on Long Island. Since graduating from Brown, he’d couch-surfed and freelanced in Brooklyn and Manhattan. After several months, he landed some stable advertising gig, rented a brownstone he couldn’t afford with friends in Bed-Stuy, and his credit card debt tripled in the span of six months.

And he was a Spurs fan. Continue reading “The Season Also Starts” »

An Open Letter to Potential World Cup Brand Partnerships

It’s this weird thing about writing regularly about soccer and/or operating a website: every four years, my email inbox gets flooded with countless offers to synergize brands by mutually adding value and enhancing identity. Did you just understand the second half of that sentence?

I didn’t. But, I’m happy to say, I am totally 100% game to do whatever this summer. Continue reading “An Open Letter to Potential World Cup Brand Partnerships” »

Compromising Pictures of Billy Haisley Explain his Distaste for MLS

Our award-wanking coverage of Deadspin’s MLS coverage has reached a new low. For those with memory problems, MLS season was about to kick off when, boom, Deadspin dropped a kinda long-ish article about why fans should not bother caring. I wrote a point-by-point response and, of course, the soft-skinned, over-internetted MLS clique responded with rage. What hurt most was not the core thesis of Billy’s argument, that MLS is a clear notch below La Liga, but the conclusion that it was therefore unwatchtable.

Still, Billy kept hammering away. MLS got all excited and announced another Southeast expansion team without a soccer-specific stadium (read: Atlanta). Bam, Billy hit the keyboards to churn out an ATL franchise take down. Again, the arguments had solid bases, but the tone…well, the tone was a bit over the top. Folks wondered – why does somebody have an axe to grind with little old MLS? What’s Billy’s deal? Did his mother attend Miami Fusion matches instead of holding him as a baby?

Then, some pictures surfaced. And now everything makes sense. Continue reading “Compromising Pictures of Billy Haisley Explain his Distaste for MLS” »

Tuesdays with Moyesy

Back in February, a manager’s fate was sealed. His team looked lifeless. They drifted in and out of games without purpose. Senior players had not yet openly revolted, but simmered with anger. Still, despite it only being a question of time, manager David Moyes sat down for a series of interviews with Oprah Book Club acclaimed writer Mitch Albom and they engaged in a series of tender, heart-warming discussions about life, death, Ryan Giggs, and everything in between.

We hope you enjoy this abbreviated transcript. Continue reading “Tuesdays with Moyesy” »

Every World Cup Article Ever: Countdown to Countdowns

A watched kettle never boils, unless that kettle is an international sporting event watched and eagerly anticipated by hundreds of millions. The Brazilian World Cup is on the horizon, so many fine media outlets have started “daily countdowns” to highlight the number of remaining days and events that transpire. But why stop at days? Why not hours? Seconds? Milliseconds? What draws the human mind to fragment time and then stare at our beloved social construct with a microscope?

What makes this whole exercise all the more fascinating/depressing/amusing is the issues Brazil still faces (and will probably still face at the World Cup). Continue reading “Every World Cup Article Ever: Countdown to Countdowns” »

The Number One Reason Why MLS Should Expand to Topeka, KS

So, MLS is expanding all over the place. Sometimes, they occupy and share an NFL stadium. Other times, expansion cities scurry to build lovely soccer-specific stadiums. In their haste, though, they sometimes, ahem, have to clear out still-in-use churches. In Orlando City, the municipality balked at a local church’s initial asking price (tens of millions) and jumped straight to eminent-domain and litigation. Now, in Atlanta, rumors swirl that a stadium proposal will lead to the demolition of the City’s first black Baptist Church (and super-gentrification of the neighborhood Martin Luther King Jr. called home).

As someone who went to college in A-town (The term “ATL” is sooooooo 2004), I can understand why Arthur Blank wants to leave the aging (built in 1992) Georgia Dome, all tucked away down there (a mere 3-5 miles from downtown Atlanta). But, in all seriousness, if MLS teams are going to be destroying churches to build homes, I have a sweet idea for a location. Continue reading “The Number One Reason Why MLS Should Expand to Topeka, KS” »

SPONSORED: Top 7 Qatar Hotels for the ’22 World Cup (By Migrant Body Count)

We are the Qatar Tourism Authority are aware of the recent issues that have come to light about our country. We are aware that many fans of soccer are very sad and mad and angry. We respect the emotions of the fans. We promise to improve these things as much as possible.

In that respectful regards, we have decided to create a useful list of hotels where fans can stay that addresses the fans’ big concerns. First, many of you are worried that the hotels in Qatar will be beyond your modest budgets. Second, many of you would feel guilty staying in a hotel that was built by many migrant laborers who died. Here are the hotels as rated for you cost-conscious consumers with a conscience.

Good luck finding the most affordable reservation with the lowest death count. Continue reading “SPONSORED: Top 7 Qatar Hotels for the ’22 World Cup (By Migrant Body Count)” »

Top 10 Reasons David Moyes Will Be United’s Greatest Ever Manager

David Moyes. Surprisingly, he is not loved by all. After a narrow 3-0 loss to Manchester City on the back of a nail-biting defeat by Liverpool, some fans have dared to question his authority and acumen. In fact, the Telegraph listed 31 reasons he had to go.

Luckily, we have ten cold-hard facts as to why Moyes will soon lead United to greatness. Continue reading “Top 10 Reasons David Moyes Will Be United’s Greatest Ever Manager” »