Post In Which I Throw Down the Gauntlet With the NYT Goal Blog

Some folks would accept happily second place. These same people sleepwalk through life and constantly either rationalize their pathetic, empty existence or, worse, lie to themselves that said existence is neither pathetic nor empty. Don’t feel pity for the hollow shells of living men that still haunt the flesh of this Earth. Feel contempt. And disgust.

What does that have to do with the above image? Continue reading “Post In Which I Throw Down the Gauntlet With the NYT Goal Blog” »

Vote Now for Very Important End of Year Awards!

I know what you’re thinking – what award could possibly be left to win after Futfanatico has picked up so many accolades over the years? 2011 I kicked ass. 2010 I kicked ass. 2009 I kicked ass. Folks ask me all the time – do you ever get tired of kicking so much soccer blogging ass? To which I reply – “How about you turn around and bend over if you want to find out.”

However, the competition is especially tough this year. Please be sure to peruse the super-impressive awards categories and vote. Continue reading “Vote Now for Very Important End of Year Awards!” »

John Terry FA Captain Harry Redknapp Trial Mourinho England

Greetings, Googlebot, spiders, monkeys, SEO linkbuilders, webcrawlers, and click-jackers. I have been asked, in a consultancy role, to spread the blackhat gospel and decide a contest winner. John Terry FA Captain. Harry Redknapp Trial. Mourinho to England. I will now do so. Continue reading “John Terry FA Captain Harry Redknapp Trial Mourinho England” »

Proudly Presenting the Bitter Barcelona Pic Caption Contest

Have heart Real Madrid faithful, the Phoenix shall rise from the ashes. Barcelona‘s roster will age, wither, and eventually lose to us on a more regular basis. However, until then, we must cope. Seven points give us solace, but not joy. Rumors of Mou’s departure stalk our nightmares. Only one thing can brighten these dark times: laughing at amusing and ill conceived pictures.

In that respect, I present the first ever Futfanatico Caption Contest with the grand prize being the honorary title of “First Ever Champion of a Futfanatico Caption Contest.” Put that on your Linkedin Profile and smoke it! But seriously, here are the rules: Continue reading “Proudly Presenting the Bitter Barcelona Pic Caption Contest” »

The Futfanatico Book – Fresh & Warm, Get it While it's Hot!

Pretty sweet cover, right? It is “Don Diego en su biblioteca – Diego Maradona in his personal library.” Why? Because we all know that Diego counts reading among his famously favorite hobbies. That’s why. Obvio.

But details briefly aside, the ebook is now available! For only $5.99! Click here to purchase the ebook for the Amazon Kindle or click here for the ebook for the Barnes & Noble Nook. You can even try out a free limited sample, just to test the waters. What are you waiting for? Oh, you don’t have a Kindle or Nook, you say. Well, here’s some advice.

I hate to break promises and bad news, but there will be no print edition. I’ve exhausted all possibilities, including print on demand, and it’s just not in the cards. Why? The biggest hurdle is that print editions require significant front-end capital. Guess what I don’t have – significant front-end capital. Print editions also lead to acid rain and, unconfirmed reports suggest, an Angel loses her wings every time you buy a print book. And a puppy dies. Do you really want that weighing on your conscience?

Also, on a meta-scale, I’m not eager to buy a non-refundable one way ticket on the Hindenburg express. Brick & mortar paper book stores are not exactly thriving. At first I contemplated a super limited print run at a much higher price. However,¬† unlike the DVD-teases at Netflix, I decided against gorging prices on an outdated median. I will instead frankly & forthrightly deliver the deathblow on your behalf. Cold. Heartless. Efficient. In a word: me.

But there is good news: you still have options. And here they are… Continue reading “The Futfanatico Book – Fresh & Warm, Get it While it's Hot!” »

The Futfanatico Book Extravaganza Continues…

What can I say, I’m a total content-tease. But the time has come to make good on my earlier promise and bare all. Or at least some. Thus, I reveal that my forthcoming book is titled “An Illustrated Guide to Soccer & Spanish.” It is loosely based on my famous but now slightly antiquated Spanglish series from a few years back.

The book is divided into two sections: an illustrated narrative that gives concrete examples of key Spanish soccer terms. The other section is a Spanish-to-English and an English-to-Spanish dictionary of sporting terms. The terms are plucked from my Mexican-American brain, but also with lots of input from a Spaniard based in Barcelona, a Paraguayan based in Boston, a Mexican based in Mexico City, and Charlie, a recent graduate of Texas A & M (a beta reader).

Thus, I anticipate absolutely no debate whatsoever about the terms & definitions. Continue reading “The Futfanatico Book Extravaganza Continues…” »

Ms. Meow Lives to Meow Another Day!


Loyal reader, Speaker of le Spanish, and tweeter extraordinaire “Sean Rubio” has won the highly competitive Futfanatico-Design-My-Header-For-Free contest. Congrats! Using the magic of javascript, his header is rotating with the Maracanazo. Did you see it? Click refresh. Now click on the ads. Now click refresh Still not working? Click refresh. Now click on the ads. Still not working? Continue reading “Ms. Meow Lives to Meow Another Day!” »

A Desperate, Muffled Meow for Help

Would you like to make a bunch of hardworking, inner city children smile? So would I.

But why not do the next best thing¬† – make one suburban brat moderately happier by entering the Futfanatico “anyone can design a better header than me” award. You could win a prominently displayed link, lots of affection praised upon your work, and, more importantly, save a life. Continue reading “A Desperate, Muffled Meow for Help” »