Tag Archives: Filthy English

Gillette – The Worst an LFC Fan Can Get

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So, part of me believes that the Yank ownership spree in the UK is universal and cosmic justice for the American revolution.  As karma payback for “taxation representation,” the Brits must suffer “debt re-consolidation with no prospects for salvation.” Or something to that effect. Case in point: Liverpool FC’s sale/bid/legal drama.

While other bloggers will point to the bids as signs of the deeply troubled state of European soccer and others will reflect on the naivete of the Americans jumping into a foreign venture without doing due diligence (read: serious wage inflation), I prefer to keep things here concise and to the point. I prefer to avoid the impassioned trolling that can overtake the best of soccerblogs.Thus, I ask for your help, dear reader, in inventing a single term to describe the now failed debt-fueled American takeover of European soccer clubs. Let’s begin… Continue reading “Gillette – The Worst an LFC Fan Can Get” »

You Know Nothing of Sengkang Punggol FC

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So, you enjoyed the world cup matches, didn’t you? The goals. The drama. The near misses. The crushing weight of expectations bearing upon broad shoulders, the dissipation of dreams like the dew of an August morning. Yet one very important victory escaped your grasp. It happened in Singapore. No, this is not some of that low level “second division” soccer stuff. This is not some “World Cup Break” twist and turn to divert your attention to something that is merely superficially amusing.

No, this is profoundly amusing. Continue reading “You Know Nothing of Sengkang Punggol FC” »

New Year, New Content Thievery, Part 2

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Hello, fellow Americans. Have you ever heard of “Teletext”? Me neither. Think Atari graphics meets the ESPN gamecast, but twice as slow and cool.

Sadly, this technology is going the way of the dodo due to your love of Apple. No, not the guy sitting next to you. YOU. This is YOUR fault. And what will happen when this priceless technology leaves the Earth, when we must grapple with three dimension viewing of sports?

To examine this issue in depth, I suggest following a link sent to me from Bedorrarci, the executive editor at Futfanatico.org (my site’s nonprofit branch). Here’s the link.

The Irish-American UN-Diplomatic Dispute

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Flag

Ireland and France square off in Dublin in the first match of a two leg playoff with World Cup qualification at stake. With so much one the line, nerves will play a role and uncertainty looms. Can Ireland qualify for the World Cup after missing out in 2006? Can the new look France fully mature?

There is only one certainty: all-star commentators Alexi Lalas and Tommy Smyth, loved by all, will not be tag-teaming the broadcast booth. While once, in my runaway imagination, a distinct possibility, a spat during the preview show escalated and caused producers to pull the plug. We have acquired (manufactured) a transcript: Continue reading “The Irish-American UN-Diplomatic Dispute” »

Gulati´s Remarks – Some Explanatoriation

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US

People are confused. To be more specific, Indians, Brits, and Aussies are confused. The president of US soccer, Sunil Gulati, recently stated that “US´s soccer´s faith never wavered in Bob Bradley.” But if that´s so, then why was Bradley hired on an interim basis?

What they don´t realize is that in these here United States of America the term “interim” really means “unconditional belief and uncompromising faith.” (Snicker)

Pre-mature English Translation

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Fellini

So, it has been pointed out that my focus on filthy Spanish has left a gaping hole for the lovers for filthy English. Even more so, Fredorrarci at the wonderful sportisatvshow let me onto an unusual Irish term. That word is the “cross cum shot.”

In the Queen’s clean and pure English, the cross cum shot is merely a ball played into the eighteen yard box that could be either a shot or a cross. It is the gender-bender of the soccer world, neither fully male nor female. The Jamie Lee Curtis if you will. And you will.

This tickles the American fancy. When I first head the word, I immediately thought of the wonderful feature film logjamming, which recounts the odyssey of a cableman unwittingly seduced by a customer. While the concepts of domination/submission pervade both sports and film, I was sad to not see a more direct connection.

And I assure you that the term has nothing to do with camera angles, lighting, close-ups, or action sequences. And here are several examples of cross-cum-shots, courtesy of the Aussie victory over American Samoa.