Brian Phillips has the scoop on all the leading Chelsea manager candidates and the betmakers’ odds for each one. NOT. Seriously, doesn’t everybody realize that the Blues manager is an on call/seasonal position, like farm work picking citrus in a field? Of course, if you pick enough oranges, you have a chance of being retained full time. Not so with Chelsea. And people are sick of the carousel. (Grantland)

Clint Dempsey has had a monster season for Fulham and Clint-sanity has replaced Lin-sanity this side of the pond. Luigi has penned an amazingly cool pic of Deuce that you must see. Seriously. (Squareroot of Cruyff)

In case you missed yesterday’s game, Cristiano Ronaldo bagged a hat trick and Real Madrid beat Atletico 4-1. The best goal of the bunch was his wicked free kick that managed to bend, dip, and then dip and bend. The shot flatflooted Atletico’s goalie, who could only hear the ting of his left hand post as the ball entered the net. Check out a GIF. (101 Great Goals)

Racism and ethnic tensions have almost always simmered below the surface of soccer. However, the popular “death to Arabs” chant in Israeli soccer games is both disturbing and needs to be stamped out. For the curious, I recommend this read on the history of this popular yet poisonous anthem. (Turbulent World of Middle Eastern Soccer)

Messi has scored a ton of goals, and his individual brilliance has left us all with shaking pens and mouths agape. Can we even hope to describe his continual brilliance? Luckily, at around age 27 he will start to descend and appear a homo sapien. Until then, enjoy this glossary of Messi terms. (Catch 22 Soccer)

Here are the links.

Americans rejoice: you can now order and buy Spiel magazine online via Paypal. In Issue Two, I deconstructed 80′s notions of hyper-masculinity by taking a super close (like really really close) look at US President Ronald Reagan and Mexican/Real Madrid icon Hugo “Hugol” Sanchez. It’s a fun read and big hair is mentioned. Really big hair. (Spiel Magazine)

At FBM, I spilled out some words on the limited local Pilsner options in Nicaragua. I also wax a bit on Real Esteli, the king of the Nicaraguan crop and regular Concacaf Champions League entrant. Just for the record: Tona is better than Victoria, and that pic of a dude eating nachos in the Sandino airport is not, in fact, me. However, nothing says Mexican in Nicargua like a dude chowing down nachos in the Sandino Airport. (Free Beer Movement)

Lastly, at IBWM I documented the history and recent rise of soccer in Nicaragua. From the early glory days of Diriangen FC to the national team’s 2009 Gold Cup qualification to Real Esteli’s ascent, things look great…until you look under the surface. Then, a frightening specter presents itself: a quasi-dictator one day manipulating barra bravas for violent political ends. (In Bed With Maradona)

Elliott’s eBook, An Illustrated Guide to Soccer & Spanish, is available on your iPhone, iPad, and iPhone Touch by clicking here.

For folks as sick of the club/country debate as much as they are of friendlies, here’s a handful of enjoyable soccer links. Do read them.

AVB faces the axe at Chelsea, and somebody said the name “Rafa Benitez.” I heard the word, didn’t recognize it, but immediately giggled uncontrollably. Then I remembered: he’s that coach turned blogger. Well, I did some investigating and revealed some new dirt on Mr. Goattee – his site is doing well, and has just signed a star columnist you may have heard of. (Fisted Away)

The Run of Play is now in exile at Tumblr because Brian realized that code-by-hand sites, no matter how gorgeously beautiful, correlate 100% with early onset arthritis. And Tumblr is pretty sweet. I visited the new digs and spitted out a few incoherent sounds that try to make a coherent statement about Serie Arrggghh. (Run of Play In Exile)

For you history buffs and stadium porn addicts, I’ve just gotten into a new site that will tickle your fancy. It hops around Iberia and also back in time to present pics and stats on Spanish soccer stadiums. Enjoy. (Estadios de Espana)

Out of the ashes of Unprofessional Foul, a new quirky site has popped up: 4-5-2. For some goofy takes on the news-of-the-day, I highly recommend it. They mock yet also respect Frank Lampard, therefore I can respect them. It’s a fine line we all must walk. (Four Five Two)

Pictures are cool. So are graphs. However, the soccersphere has gotten a bit stale with excel charts and the same old chalkboard. Unless, of course, you’ve glanced at some of the amazing images coming out of Bootiful Game. Be sure to cover your iPad with a slobber-proof bib. (Bootiful Game)

For some hysterical and topical Onion-esque articles, I rate quite highly the Gaffer. They seamlessly mix in politics without offending anyone. Unless, of course, they are worth offending. (The Gaffer)

I don’t want to point any fingers, but you’ve kinda dropped the ball in at least two ways. First, you haven’t subscribed to the Classical’s RSS feed. Do so here. Now. Second, you aren’t following the Classical on twitter. Do so here.

If fashion is your thing, then you have to check out the amazing t-shirts at 3Nil. They are the perfect gift for that somebody special in your life: you. (3 Nil)

Lastly, AFR found some pretty amazing footy artwork. Think Guernica meets Marco Borriello. IN COLOR! (A Football Report)

No e-reader? No problem! Elliott’s eBook, An Illustrated Guide to Soccer & Spanish, is available at GoodReads for only $5.99. Just click here.

No, but seriously, I’ve penned words at a few sites. Other sites have penned their own words. You should read them.

Racism allegations continue to haunt Liverpool FC, but I came up with an alternative theory: what if the “monkey dancer” had just “gone ape” at the prospect of a domestic Cup double? Scousers haven’t sniffed a trophy for years, so King Kenny bravely leading them to the cusp of a possible Europa League trophy, FA Cup, and Carling Cup has melted their minds. Or has it? (Fisted Away)

Also in the English overreaction department, I spilled a few thoughts on Third Party Ownership. Basically, I clearly articulated the benefits of “pooling risk” and point out that current youth academies feast on “sell-on fees.” I also arrived at a compromise: players’ rights should be clearly segregated and divided by body part, with Diego Maradona’s left foot valued at $35 million, his mullet worth about $5,000, and his whizzinator available on Ebay for the buy-now price of $250. (The Footy Blog)

Some folks are mad that Grantland has not paid enough attention to the MLS. (KCKRS) However, Grantland also has failed to cover the incredible pro ice hockey exploits in the Russian Super League. Ee-dee na khuy! Chto za huy! Plus, for every recycled “Choose Your Own EPL Team Adventure”, you get a gem by Brian Phillips about ‘Arry. It’s worth the price of admission. (Grantland)

Many of you will remember our exclusive and ground breaking coverage of Stray-ker, the official unofficial stray dog mascot of every single Copa America, past, present, and future. Upon closer inspection, first world problems ain’t much different. Recently, at Anfield an unleashed cat ran onto the pitch and darted straight into our hearts. Enjoy this Venn Diagram that compares King Kitty Dalglish to other Liverpool greats. (The False 9)

On the domestic front, the WPS has closed doors while it defends a lawsuit by Mr. MagicJack.  Thus far, the highlight for me was Mr. MagicJack’s claims that “he didn’t know” that the league would have to “pay” an “attorney” to defend the suit. Yeah. A professional league was going to rock things Pro Se or just accept a default judgment. Uh huh. And pro bono is so easy to find during the tail end of this recession. Or maybe Mr. MagicJack is used to tossing his gold coins around to squeeze suppliers and hoped similar tactics would work vs WPS. Luckily, some speculate the lawsuit is coming to an end.(Fake Sigi)

In legitimate feel good news, Zambia defeated the Ivory Coast to win the African Cup of Nations. Gervinho continued his run of form from Arsenal, skying over his penalty kick for Ivory Coast and setting the platter for a Zambia win. However, credit is also due to Didier Drogba – he missed a potentially winning penalty kicked earned by Gervinho in regulation. Regardless of the circumstances, 19 years after a tragic plane crash, the country of Zambia rejoices. Kudos! (A Football Report)

On a romantic note, FBM had some twitterfun and cherry picked the best responses to a thread of #SoccerLove. I prefer to romanticize about past soccer greats, but my reply, “Black Pearl Earrings for Her”, in reference to Eusebio, was not a finalist. Still, check out the legitimate highlights. (Free Beer Movement)

Lastly, many of you hate to read blocks of text. The lines, the dots, the circles, it can be ever so hard on the eyes. Thus, take an iPad screen slobbering gander at this amazing Portland Timbers original artwork. (Pitch Invasion)

Image Credit: Getty

Last Wednesday, in the Egyptian city of Port Said, fans of rival soccer clubs fought and 73 people were killed. It was pandemonium – players were also attacked. The police did next to nothing. Recently elected Parliamentary members blamed the military for allowing the violence to escalate. Many fear that the military will use the bloodshed as a pretext to justify “law and order” ordinances and stall the democratic transition. Others also blamed the security for not thoroughly frisking fans before allowing them to enter. The Egyptian league has since suspended operations. (NY Times)

James Dorsey points out that there was plenty of smoke before the fire. The two rival fans had clashed during the same game in the same stadium last year. Also, before the match, the rival fans tweeted hateful and threatening messages to one another. On a political scale, the well organized and often violent Egyptian fan clubs, known as ultras, have continued to oppose the military’s prominent role in Egyptian life. On the other hand, the Egyptian public has grown sick of protests and just wants a return to stability and economic growth. Dorsey asks – did the Military allow this violence to try and drive a wedge between the ultras and the public? (Turbulent World of Middle Eastern Soccer)

In light of the violence, protesters took to the streets throughout Egypt. Among them was Bob Bradley, the current coach of the Egyptian National Team, and his wife. Bradley’s show of solidarity was welcomed, and his remarks focused on his empathy with the victims’ families. Whether his comments were irritatingly apolitical or intelligently tactful, I’ll let you decide. (Dirty Tackle)

Sophia Azeb examines in depth the history of Al Ahly S.C., explains the Ultras movement and its anti-colonial beliefs, and ultimately concludes that the fighting in Egypt should not be labeled a “football riot.” In contrast to fascist Ultras in Europe, Al Ahly S.C. and other soccer groups consistently rejected the Mubarak strategy to use sport as dope for the masses. They have been pro-democratic reforms. Sadly, Mohamed Aboutrika, a player on the field and prominent public figure in the revolution that toppled Mubarak, was attacked and thereafter announced his retirement from soccer. Shortly after the violence, a truce  was made between supporters of Al Ahly and Zamalek, the supporters group of rival club Al-Masry. Obviously, there’s more at stake then just games and goals and kicks and fouls.  (Soccer Politics)

Two players for Al-Masry have noted the unusual inaction of the police. For example, one player who watched the game from a nearby cafe reported that he saw armed thugs walk by police. Conspicuously, the steel exit doors for Ahly supporters were locked shut. Several were trampled to death. Spectators claimed to have heard the police egging on the violent Al-Masry ultras. (Guardian)

Many commentators have speculated as to the role and action/inaction of the military. However, these conspiracies bring to mind “Two Sides of Perversion” by Slavoj Zizek. Basically, in our minds we strive to explain our existence by a divine entity. We attribute order to that entity. Nevertheless, we often overreach in our daily analysis, and project conclusions based upon circumstantial evidence. Many asserted similar conspiratorial claims against George W. Bush in the aftermath of 9/11. Obviously, the military needs to be held accountable for failing to control the violence. However, if we assume the military’s omnipotence in our own minds, if we ascribe nefarious superpowers to them, if we see the military’s hand in all aspects of life from our hearts to our minds, then the military has already planted the seeds of collective submission. (Slavoj Zizek)

Recently deceased former Czech President Vaclav Havel wrote an essay titled “Power of the Powerless.” At the time, he was an activist and his concern was the communist regimes that swept across Eastern Europe. He noted that the greatest power of dictatorships was civic isolationism. Fear, distrust, and separation allowed regimes to splinter the civilian population. Nobody trusted their neighbor. Anybody could be a spy. However, this fog of fear masked the harsh reality: an impotent state that could never truly defeat an informed and united population. Thus, Vaclav called for the formation of informal civilian associations, based on hobbies. His belief was that these interactions would build bonds of trust among citizens, tearing at the heart of the dictatorships’ fear-mongering. As applied to Egypt, the Ultras (and online social communications) played a large role in the protests and bringing down Mubarak. The great threat now is that the military will dissolve those associations, fear will prevail, and democracy will suffer. (Vaclav Havel)

Elliott’s soccer eBook, An Illustrated Guide to Soccer & Spanish, is on sale for under $5 at Amazon for a limited time. Check it out here.

Remember when FIFA said they were going to release documents on December 17th and we got all excited? Well, there is no Santa Clause. Nor financial transparency. Just unkept promises. The release has been delayed due to “legal privacy concerns.” And the Qatar bid will not be re-evaluated. On the plus side, Sepp has now gone almost an entire week without uttering a racist or sexist or homophobic remark. He must have had dental surgery.

Over at the Classical, James T of Unprofessional Foul has a nice look at the evolution of the German National Team. More Turkish. More Tunisian. More flair. Less headers. (Classical)

Vaclav Havel, Czech President and pro-democracy activist, has passed away. One of his great theories was that informal associations were key to combating dictatorships. This makes perfect sense, as dictatorships rely on fear, distrust, and pitting private citizens against one another. Read one of his essays at (Slate) Now, apply it to soccer in Egypt. Ultras, groups of militant soccer fans, were essential to taking down the former President and are now confronting the military. (TWMS)

For some lighthearted fun, Brooks toyed with photoshop and removed the green complexion of Harry Redknapp. He looks horrid, but has definitely turned into a Grinch. His tax woes have left him a joykill, and he doesn’t want his players to enjoy xmas. (Dirty Tackle).

In other news, the long awaited Pitch Invasion book has been released. You can get the eBook edition for $5.99 or the print version for $11.99. I highly recommend this book, although the nostalgia factor is a bit high for us old-timers.

Have you ever wondered how Andres Villas-Boas got to where he is? Or where he may end up? Me neither. Yet the folks at SF spin comic gold out of these topics in a flowchart. (SurrealFootball)

Barcelona beat up on Santos in the Club World Cup, and Neymar received some criticisms back in Brazil. Deportes Mais ran a clever “Missing Child” pic of him on their cover. (Unprofessional Foul)

Lastly, Darren Bent went Christmas shopping this past weekend. THE MONSTER! Yet as the only human being who goes shopping on the second-to-last Saturday before Christmas, he received ire. And, to be fair, he also kinda skipped out on watching his own team Aston Villa play. Granted, he was injured. However, you’d expect some emotional investment in his own team. Right? Wrong. He actually has an airtight defense. (The DA)

First, I penned a piece for the excellent 200 percent. My topic? The endless carousel of 4th division “professional” soccer teams in South Texas. Corruption. Graft. Mirages. Unpaid wages. When the franchise system and poverty collide, the results are catastrophic. Enjoy it here, assuming you enjoy the macabre.

Second, I have an article forthcoming for the nascent Spiel magazine, a Liverpool-based football & lifestyle magazine. You can check out a PDF of the Preview Issue here. You gotta pay for the issue with my article though (which is due out in two weeks). My article’s topic? The lingering mirage of rugged individualism that we foolishly use to characterize Ronald Reagan’s Presidency & Hugo Sanchez’s playing career at Real Madrid. It is so 80′s it hurts and, if you are a guy, while reading it your shoulders will swell in size and your hair will grow curly and long.

Lastly, and slightly more stateside, I had fun with DC-based Mirit and UK ex-pat James Tyler at Nutmegradio. We got our podcast on and I answered some very personal questions, like if I prefer Fakefutfanatico to Fakerfutfanatico. Listen here, if you dare.

Kaka conducts the greatest Q & A session in the history of soccer (Dirty Tackle)

Iranian football has its own regional rivalries. Don’t you just detest those snobs from Tehran? (In Bed with Maradona)

Is it legal for the English FA to criminalize third party ownership of players’ playing rights? (Footy Blog)

Also, in terms of footy finance, a bank in Dubai has set up a soccer-related Hedge Fund. I hear they are betting heavily on Carlos Tevez being moody and Roberto Mancini overreacting. The no-apology odds are 2:1. (TWMES)

Two weeks ago, a select few shared some very nice Peel-good moments (Sport is a TV Show)

Manchester City should be wary of past quick starters who faded near the end of the EPL (ESPN)

Time to point and laugh. Chelsea’s dreams of a move away from Stamford Bridge were shot down despite heavy lobbying (200%)

On the field, the Blues have been attempting new pressing-tactics as implemented by Villas-Boas (Zonal Marking) However, to press you have to push up the back line, and Arsenal feasted on the positionally challenged outside backs and lead-footed Terry (Zonal Marking)

English soccer is posed to borrow a page from the NFL and adopt the “Rooney Rule” – a rule designed to give minority candidates a fair shake in hiring decisions (Soccer Politics)

I also reflected upon race and discourse – daring to ask if how we speak about race really reflects a complex reality (Run of Play)

In marketing news, the NY Cosmos marketing team decided a few weeks ago to fire their current CEO. Nobody knows exactly what he was doing, but he probably diluted the Cosmos brand just by “existing” and actually thinking they may want to have a “team.” (Unprofessional Foul)

Mario Balotelli is waving a tsunami of confidence – to the point that he is openly flaunting the FIFA snood ban and wears a custom Super Mario snood at training (WAATP)

Nutmeg Radio penned a beautiful Arsenal-Arsene lament which dares to ask – what happens when the world keeps spinning yet your philosopher king keeps his feet firmly planted in place? (Run of Play)

Not all is well in South Africa. Local poor were forcibly relocated to shack towns to make way for World Cup tourists. The World Cup came and went. But the poor? (KCKRS)

AC Milan has gone from the Christmas Tree formation of Carlos to the Pine Cones of Allegri. (Catch-22)

Berbatov has gotten a run of games with United, but there’s one problem – it’s put in jeopardy his unemployment compensation application. (Fisted Away)

Elliott’s soccer eBook, An Illustrated Guide to Soccer & Spanish, is available for only $5.99 on the Kindle, Nook, and at Goodreads. Check out a free preview here.

Speaking of the eBook, Robert of theTwoUnfortunates wrote a positive review that you can check out here. Terry Duffelen, blogger, podder & Socrates co-founder, also had some kind words to say about the eBook at Goodreads. And thus far the ratings have been squarely in the 4-5 range. Not too shabby. I’m still riding on a wave of confidence and my Vampire-High school-Law firm legal thriller/comedy series will be available from Doubleday in May of 2013.

But seriously, I promise to stop proudly boasting about the eBook until at least the new year. Scout’s honor. Books are like kids – once you have more than one, they all start to look the same & you eventually forget their names. Now, the links.

We’ll start with me. Two of my all-time favorite sites, Sport is a TV Show and FistedAway, presented some prime posting opportunities. First, I waxed on why you really hate Manchester City. My conclusion is that your simple envy and jealousy blind you to the truth – the Sheikh is desperate to buy your attention and affection. Given him neither. (SIATVS)

In case you didn’t see it, Arsenal FC actually won a game this past weekend. As the world’s leading Gunner-satirist who, while a Manchester United fan, has immense respect for Wenger & his sporting project, I penned a few words at Nick & Rob’s fine site. And, as per usual, a wave of Gunner-trolls took personal offense.I would just like to clarify that when I wryly poke fun at the intangible sporting entity which occupies your free time, it is only in lieu of punching you in the face. Please, get angry. Pretend that I have punched you in the face. (Fisted Away)

In terms of legitimate news, victims of the Hillsborough tragedy will finally get to see all the documents produced during the resulting investigation. David Conn squarely puts the blame on local governments & businesses who in the immediate aftermath tried to point fingers instead of looking in the mirror. (Guardian) Writing from a distance both spatially and temporally, Richard Whittall, young Canadian soccer writer extraordinaire, beautifully articulates what “Hillsborough” as a concept means to different people. (Footy Blog)

And, just to keep the kabal atmosphere going, James Tyler of Unprofessional Foul made his debut at ESPN. JT, not to be confused with Justin Timberlake when off the dance floor, summed up the prevailing sentiment that the United-Liverpool game kinda stunk. Both managers started off with defensive lineups, and even the helter-skelter of the last ten minute was more hurricane than rip-roaring EPL tide. (ESPN)

Also, I’ve been tearing into the Digital Edition Issue Two of the Blizzard. It’s available in PDF, ePub, and Mobi on a pay-what-you-want basis. In reality, it should have a price tag of at least $5 to $10 per issue. I really enjoyed Jonathan Wilson’s recap of the recent Copa America, which included some cool soccer Spanish terms like “enganche” and “garra.” (The Blizzard)

We satirists have struggled to properly mock Tevez for his recent childish antics. Maybe we’re gassed, or maybe the audience has ran out of empathy and the knives are too sharp. Regardless, Chris Toy’s images of Tevez t-shirts are hysterical, especially the third. Thanks for showing us the way, Chris! (Studs-Up)

TV rights. They are kinda important. In fact, maybe more so than foreign ownership. For a thorough and meticulous probe into the world of finances and football, there’s no better place. Even if this “Ramble” is a bit too close to FIFA for comfort.(Swiss Ramble)

Lastly, Charlie Davies has filed a lawsuit against a K street nightclub and Red Bull for throwing a party and serving alcohol to the drunk driver the night of his fateful crash. I side with C.D. and am absolutely outraged that these establishments are allowed to serve alcohol in blatant violation of the 18th Amendment of the Constitution and the Volstead Act. I only hope that current President Woodrow Wilson launches a full executive inquiry into this flagrant disregard for the rule of law. (Washington Post)

Not all summers are pleasant. In 1998, a young and optimistic US team went to France with hopes of advancing out of the group stages. Instead, they lost all three games, scored a single goal, and came in dead last. Some blamed luck, some blamed the coach, and a decade would pass before the truth about a curious omission would come to light. Re-live the tears. (In Bed With Maradona)

As promised, I wrote about three great new sports websites & ePublications: Grantland, the Blizzard, and the Classical. Check out my quirky curriculum to help you evaluate which site fits your personal tastes best! (The Footy Blog)

Here is Part Two of my series for FoxSoccer on Hispanics & US Soccer. It’s basically a critique of tokenism/affirmative action and also a pretty please to not expect my ethnicity to turn the US program into Spain anytime soon. (Fox Soccer)

This will probably blow your mind, but I am not the only person who writes about soccer. In fact, one of my favorite articles of the year was written by another person on another site. The premise? That Arsene Wenger could easily solve Arsenal’s rightback problem with a Golden Corral franchise. (The Short Fuse)

This is probably the saddest soccer story of the last month. South Africa tied their qualifying game and celebrated, assuming they had qualified for the African Cup of Nations. However, they were mistaken. The tie-breaker was head-to-head games, not goal difference. D’oh! (Washington Post)

In terms of podcastery, after much anticipation, Jason Davis and Jared DuBois finally debuted the Best Soccer Show. It is part of the North American Soccer Network, will be on twice a week, and is definitely worth a listen, if not an iTunes subscription. Find out more here: (Youtube) Or follow on twitter (Best Soccer Show)

Also, in the audio consumption department, if you are not listening regularly to the Total Soccer Show podcast, then it’s your own fault. And if you have never heard of the “Wikipedia Game”, then it’s time to re-consider that condo you live in on Mars. Seriously, imagine Jeopardy but soccer-specific and therefore you have a chance of winning. (Total Soccer Show)

Also, the players at UNC-Asheville are pretty good at soccer. However, this video shows they are even better at Angry Birds. I just salivate thinking about Ronaldinho attempting to play this real-life-soccer version. (Youtube)

Lastly, this was a great week here at the site. We published three posts on Monday-Wednesday-Thursday, just like we always do. Care to re-live the greatness of this experience? Of course you do. (Futfanatico)