Tag Archives: Opinion

Gillette – The Worst an LFC Fan Can Get

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So, part of me believes that the Yank ownership spree in the UK is universal and cosmic justice for the American revolution.  As karma payback for “taxation representation,” the Brits must suffer “debt re-consolidation with no prospects for salvation.” Or something to that effect. Case in point: Liverpool FC’s sale/bid/legal drama.

While other bloggers will point to the bids as signs of the deeply troubled state of European soccer and others will reflect on the naivete of the Americans jumping into a foreign venture without doing due diligence (read: serious wage inflation), I prefer to keep things here concise and to the point. I prefer to avoid the impassioned trolling that can overtake the best of soccerblogs.Thus, I ask for your help, dear reader, in inventing a single term to describe the now failed debt-fueled American takeover of European soccer clubs. Let’s begin… Continue reading “Gillette – The Worst an LFC Fan Can Get” »

Fake Scoop on the Real Life Togo Quandary

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After two years of soccer blogging, the wheels don’t turn like they used to. While Wenger comments and Sir Alex jokes used to start the engine, the stale plate of recycled story lines has obviously caused my stray eye to wander. But every now and then a story so preposterously comprehensible yet impossible brings my focus into…focus. I have an idea of how the Fake Togo story came to be…. Continue reading “Fake Scoop on the Real Life Togo Quandary” »

Vuvuzelas: Deconstructing Postcolonial Legos

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Today UEFA banned the vuvuzelas. Uefa’s argued that the “buzzing” sound drowned out the crowd’s emotional response to the match. This background “noise” diluted “the culture and tradition of Europe.” And no. The President of UEFA is French and his last name starts with P, but he not Le Pen.

Now if you will briefly indulge me, let’s go hunting for Huntington. Continue reading “Vuvuzelas: Deconstructing Postcolonial Legos” »

The US & England: Blame the Bloody Children!

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It’s that time of the year again. Another major tournament. Another quarterfinal round exit (or earlier) for team anglosaxon. While I was happy with the US performance and thought England put in a strong first half against sprightly Germany, now begins the inquest into the soul of our respective footballing cultures. Some will blame individual players – X midfielder messed up on Z play. Others will point the finger at the manager – why did Bob Capello play player Y, and not player W?

I, however, prefer to be a bit more general my blame, so that those accused cannot defend themselves. And the largest group of individuals with the least opportunity to defend themselves is children. Continue reading “The US & England: Blame the Bloody Children!” »

Mexico v. Uruguay: Calculating Conspiracy

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The World Cup group stages is an engineer’s delight. After each game, you can pull out your graphing calculator, whip up an excel spreadsheet, and coherently articulate the goals/points/wins necessary for the teams to advance. However, not all of us who follow the game revel in the hegemony of mathematical summation. Despite a very clear system of categorization imposed upon the beautiful game, the human element lends itself to fanciful speculation. And who doesn’t love fanciful speculation? Continue reading “Mexico v. Uruguay: Calculating Conspiracy” »

Withering World Cup & Brazilian Brightness

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Theories abounded that this World Cup would favor attacking teams. The cold weather was supposed to lead to superior fitness and, ergo, a goalfest of epic proportions. However, these scientific theories overlooked a very simple fact – we live in the dark ages of soccer. Despite Barcelona’s great season a year ago and Spain’s title as European champion, the tendency to pack the box and not risk tossing numbers forward plagues the world of football like pox-carrying rats. These locusts have resulted in a paltry first round goal total and abysmal goal per game percentage. Continue reading “Withering World Cup & Brazilian Brightness” »

Buddle, Gomez, & Findley Shouldn't Surprise You

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But first, before I make an array of connected and not-so-connected arguments, perhaps an introduction is in order.

Elliott and I have spent much time on the field together.  He and I are different sides of the US soccer fan coin–I started at age 4 and have spent the last 23 years wandering between disinterest and obsession (for the last 3 or 4 years it’s been increasing obsession).  Elliott picked up the game much later in life but, as is only expected of someone like him, grabbed the bull by the longhorns (ooo, a Texas reference!) and hasn’t let go since.  Nonetheless, the two of us have spent a fair amount of time on the pitch and I can personally vouch for the skills of the original futfantico.

Continue reading “Buddle, Gomez, & Findley Shouldn't Surprise You” »

Why You Hate Landon Donovan, You May Ask

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So, Landon Donovan. He does hysterical commercials. He wins MLS championships. He scores goals on loan in the Premiership. He scores goals against Brazil in championship games. He sets up goals for teammates in international play. He leads the US national team in all-time scoring.

Yet, despite this lofty CV and his best years (28-32) still ahead of him, despite being your fellow countrymen, you hate him. Why? Let’s examine… Continue reading “Why You Hate Landon Donovan, You May Ask” »

Mourinho, Real Madrid, and Material Myths

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Madrid set the press afire last summer with blockbuster signings. With a few swoops of his mighty pen, Perez sent shock waves through the elite of English football. Debt? Regret? Don’t fret! This summer, the merengues have restarted the notorious coach carousel, pausing for an ever so brief year for Pellegrini to play the role of caretaker.

The first instinct is excitement. Surely Mourinho, the Portuguese genius, can form a winning sculpture out of the blanquillo clay. But I fear for this colossal clash of egos – can Mourinho truly change the Madrid culture? The fact Manuel survived the Alcocorn debacle to season’s end shows signs of improvement, but…but…but… Continue reading “Mourinho, Real Madrid, and Material Myths” »