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So, back in November of last year, Wayne Rooney was playing well and we sung his praises with a look at some trite football cliches. But here’s the dilemma – since that time, Rooney has gone on an even more torrid goalscoring run and his talents transcend “football.” Thus, we present a series of trite cliches that go beyond the sport. Continue reading “Rooney & a Series of Trite Non-Football Puns” »
Now I know your general defense – athletes are not role models. No, when they sign their professional contract and jump headfirst into the public eye, they have a license to kill. The media is to blame for making them celebrities, not their sport. So what if they get the odd misdemeanor assault charge? Every family has a black sheep, so why should sport be different?
Well, my friend, I’m afraid just isn’t good enough. I have high standards for my testosterone exuding idols – which is why I am furious at Sergios Ramos for his latest goal celebration and its odd explanation. Continue reading “Sergio Ramos: Athlete, Celebrity, Role Model” »
Every star player’s career starts as a collection of trite similes. If fortune smiles upon this young man, he will play for a top club and be compared to the ghosts of European Cups past. But then, one day, his performances will cast away the fog of history like the sun rising over the mornings’ mist. Gonzalo Higuain, I extend sincere congratulations because, sob sob, you really really remind me of Gonzalo Higuain.
A few others concur in my assessment…. Continue reading “Gonzalo Higuain, the Next…Gonzalo Higuain” »
Very few people realize that in addition to walking his dogs, managing lower tier English teams, and glaring at reporters, Roy Keane follows the Premiership avidly and is a keen reader of classic literature. Recently, he was impressed by a robust and tenacious Fernando Torres and shared a few thoughts with us on “el nino” and a few others… Continue reading “Roy Keane Reflects on Fernando Torres, Etc…” »
Wayne Rooney scored three goals against Portsmouth. And in honor of his hat-trick, we proudly present a series of wildly exaggerated sports cliches with little basis in reality.
Wayne Rooney is out of this world. Today, at 13:05 army time, the Space Shuttle Astronausus successfully launched into outer space from the Kennedy Space Center in Orlando, Florida. The forecast called for clear skies and plenty of sunlight, and a large crowd gathered for the launch. The Astronausus is on an extended two month mission to collect the dust particles of nearby passing comets. It is believed these minerals may hold a clue as to the Earth’s formation billions of years ago. Of the two astronauts aboard, Michael Hopkins and Wayne Rooney, Wayne has a young child and surely will be eager to set foot upon solid ground in 60 days time. We wish him the best of luck and a safe return trip. Continue reading “Rooney and a Series of Trite Football Cliches” »