So, enough ranting – the book. As a generous and kind lord emperor, I will give you some juicy details to satiate your appetite. First, Brian Phillips of the Run of Play graciously penned the foreword. Second, Erik Ebeling, who absolutely slayed the artwork in these posts on Balotelli, Chicharito, and Ibrahimovic, is the book’s illustrator. Thus, the quality on hand is outstanding, even if you take into account it was written by me. Dr. Moschlavious had tentatively agreed to handle the SEO/marketing, but the deal fell apart when he asked for too many slices of the miniature pie.

Plus, we have exciting news that also explains the production delay. In addition to the ebook for only $5.99 via Kindle or Barnes & Noble, we will also have a limited run of actual-printed-on-dead-trees-books. What a plus! In addition to such positives as deforestation and global warming, the cost will be a staggering $10.99. Plus shipping. What could be better for you and the environment?

And here’s the cool part where you cry out “Elliott is such a kind and just wordpress emperor!” – I will be signing a handful of them (the dead tree editions, that is) and mailing them to some lucky and loyal readers. For free. Assuming, of course, that they are the first five readers to answer the next three questions correctly.

First, Ferenc Puskas has haunted this website on numerous occasions. What is the dead Hungarian footballer’s drink of choice? Hint: not vodka on the rocks.

Two, for over a year we documented the meteoric rise of Real Madrid’s top four year old prospect: Junito. What was his drink of choice? Hint: not vodka on the rocks.

Three, name one intellectual who has been spoof-interviewed or spoof-consulted on this website. Hint: I do not count myself as an answer. Reason? My interview was real.

Please mail your answers to futfanatico (at) gmail (dot) com. Remember – this is a first come-first serve race! I will announce the winners on Monday, July 4, along with more delicious book details. However, I coyly will not commit to announcing a pre-pre-launch date. See how coy I am?

So circle your calendars for July 4. And as you know, the Futfanatico editorial board always follows deadlines to the millisecond with no excuses ever.

In the meantime, I suggest that the deforestation-fearing and cost-conscious download either the free Nook PC App or the Kindle PC App. Then, when the book is released, you can purchase it for a meager $5.99, thus saving money and avoiding acid rain.

You also should check out Issue One of the Blizzard.

“Invierno Porteño” – Astor Piazzolla